Author Topic: Shame  (Read 4385 times)

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Offline wildgeese

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Shame
« on: July 12, 2014, 10:30:18 PM »
So three weeks ago i self harmed. It was a way of coping with my breast surgery, 3 weeks earlier. Until today i had surgical stockings on so no one could see what i'd done. Now the stockings are off and i don't know what to do. I hadn't realised how badly i'd cut myself this time and thought it would be healed by now.  I'm figuring a plaster and hoping i can tell people it's a shaving accident.
When I SH i have an initial high and then a major low. I worry that if people know what i've done they will judge me and dislike me. How do others cope with similar feelings and covering up?
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Offline behindthewall

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Re: Shame
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2014, 11:00:01 PM »
I wish I could help. I'm in a similar position just now and I'm going with the accidental injury line. However, lying is not the best policy. One lie leads to another and you can become completely entrapped. If you can be honest and admit that you're struggling that would be the better path I believe. :hug1:

Offline Rob

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Re: Shame
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2014, 11:40:23 PM »
What btw says is right.
From some of your past posts, your partner thinks that your SH is in the past - in the light of your recent surgery and pressures, it might also be an opportunity to say that you're struggling?
You really shouldn't feel shame
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Offline wildgeese

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Re: Shame
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2014, 08:55:31 AM »
Thank you both. Ray knows about this recent episode and has seen it. I'm more worried about work colleagues, people who wait at the bus stop, friends who don't understand mental illness. And i don't know why, but i don't want my psychotherapist to see it - even though i've told him. Plus in 12 days time i'll be back in hospital for another operation (sigh). On top of that whem i see it i feel a failure for not coping.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Offline behindthewall

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Re: Shame
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2014, 01:40:14 PM »
The type of people you list don't need to know anything unless you want them to.  One thing to keep in mind is that most people if they notice a scar, won't automatically think self harm. They probably won't think much of it at all. I think maybe certain scars, such as on wrists, that might be thought of as classic places for self injury, might arouse suspicion, but most people with no experience of self harm don't expect it so don't jump to that conclusion.

Please don't think of yourself as a failure. I don't think anyone could go through what you're going through without struggling to cope. There is no shame in that. :hug1:

Offline wildgeese

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Re: Shame
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2014, 05:18:58 PM »
thank you! I think it's the fear of people who i would hate to know I'd self harmed finding out that freaks me out - hence my plan if challenged to pass it off as something else.
Ray keeps reminding me that my 12th operation is in 12 days time and it's okay to be all over the place and not cope. I'd been doing quite well until the breast surgery. I'd taken the surgeries on the chin without a complaint. Last month's surgery has been so much harder. Plus i'm rather bored of hospitals and want to be out and about doing exciting things!
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Offline behindthewall

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Re: Shame
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2014, 07:35:33 PM »
Ray is absolutely right. I'm glad he is supportive. Don't be so hard on yourself. X x