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Diagnosis process

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Turtle:
I'm so confused about diagnoses at the moment. I don't know how helpful I think diagnoses are anyway - when the professionals starting assessing me for/talking about BPD it was both helpful and not. Helpful because it made me feel marginally less crazy for some of my behaviours, but not because what does any of this matter?

But I'm confused about whether I am diagnosed. I'm always dipping in and out of systems because of moving around anyway. Then they started talking about formally diagnosing in March and then COVID hit, so any thoughts about long-term help were cancelled.

My new GP called and she asked about whether I'd been formally diagnosed - I said that I wasn't but something had been thrown around, at which point she asked if it was a personality disorder, so I said yes...  So there's clearly something on my record, but I don't know what. I know NICE guidelines say that for BPD you should be assessed for a psych for 6 months? I'd quite like to access my medical records at some point to see what they're saying about me. (I could access through work but could be fired so really holding back on that).

I know the NHS can be quite reluctant to diagnose, so I guess I'm asking - at what point are you diagnosed? And is it even useful/does it matter? It's just bothering me!

Tucan:
A diagnosis can help you to understand why things are the way they are. Also it can help create a pathway to treatment. So for the case of borderline personality disorder it can help direct you to therapy that is designed to help with some meds. It can be hard to accept a diagnosis especially at the beginning. How do you feel like about it all?

Turtle:
On the one hand it's so validating, because someone is saying, "Yes, you've really been struggling, even if it's not depression and there are some real highs". Because when I get those huge lows it's terrifying. But then I have a good day and I think everything's fine and I'm attention seeking or overdramatic. Or that I can go it alone and I'm amazing. Or that I've made it all up and I'm awful but no one should help me.

The GP doesn't want to refer to services regardless of diagnosis because the services are so rammed up, unless I'm still struggling in 2 weeks. So right now they're just tossing around a label without offering support. ::)

Plus I've read so much about BPD that basically says anyone with BPD is attention seeking and taking up space in services and manipulative etc etc etc etc.

I don't know if I'm making much sense. I'm just confused by it all and don't know what to think and it all feels pointless if they're not going to offer support.

Lorien:
The image of BPD is often bad with professionals but often it's because it challenges them and their skills. Ha e you had a look at the actual criteria to think about whether you think it fits?

Any Psychiatry appointment will be followed by a clinic letter sent to your GP. I used to be automatically sent them which I appreciated.When my Psychiatrist and diagnosis changed they stopped doing that. So I called and asked for a copy which was sent out without issue. There is a diagnosis box in a standard format here but other areas may be different. But it should tell you what diagnoses you do have and an outline of the conversation and 'presentation' - what they thought about you. Sometimes they are a tough read but you are entitled to read them, unless they think it will be harmful to you. Even then they should provide an explanation or redacted version.

Turtle:
I've had a look at the criteria and it does fit. I think I'm just confused about the formal diagnosis part - no one has ever formally diagnosed. I had an assessment for BPD, and then moved. I was discharged under new services. I then ended up in hospital a bunch and then was being assessed to see what help they could offer, and when I was about to have my next appointment to see if they'd offer support Covid hit and all support was cancelled. On one recent hospital discharge letter it said 'probable accentuated EUPD traits', another just said EUPD, my new GP asked if I have a personality disorder. But I'm not formally diagnosed? I guess it doesn't matter, it just means I feel like I can't talk about it. I really hate the trend of self diagnosing?

I could ask my GP for a copy of medical records which I guess should have any clinic letters? Although there will be scarce few clinic letters because treatment hasn't been continuous, it's been all over the place. I've read all the hospital letters I've been sent.

I think the site for my GP surgery said you can request online access and see your medical records there.

Maybe none of this matters, I just feel weird about it all.

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