The title is a term my IRL friends have used to describe one of my most pervasive 'states'. I don't know what else to call it. People will talk to me, I will be monosyllabic, and someone else will say "She's on holiday" by way of explanation. Invariably then the other person will say "Ah ok" and know to leave me alone. It usually lasts a couple of weeks, and then people will say "Oh, you're back again" because I'm my usual talkwaytoomuch self.
It's not being sad, or manic, or unwell as I know it. I function perfectly well in terms of looking after the banshees, getting them to school, cleaning the house etc. I am EXTREMELY stressy and irritable, but neither sad nor happy.
Mostly it's just I don't know what to say to people. I don't want to talk to people, it seems like too much effort. I usually decide I don't like most of them anyway. I can be quite rude/abrupt (those who know me have come to accept this as part and parcel) and I do not want people to talk to me either. I just want to be on my own. I dont want people around me either, with their noise and their talking. I just want quiet.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? It's like having a brain that's only mine for 50% of the time... the rest it's had enough, packed it's bags and left.
