Author Topic: Grumblings *Trigs*  (Read 286 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10702
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #20 on: August 20, 2019, 04:57:24 PM »
Oh bless you. I wish you could see yourself the way we see you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Rob

  • Administrator
  • Usually here
  • *****
  • Posts: 1764
  • Official NSHN geriatric
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #21 on: August 20, 2019, 07:18:59 PM »
Do you think that you need some time to recover from your recent events? It's understandable that things seem to take more effort.
:icon_arrow: NHS Direct 111 :icon_arrow: Careline 0808 100 1210 :icon_arrow: Childline 0800 1111 :icon_arrow: Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text SAMs 07725909090 - Free SAMs 116 123 :icon_arrow: Basic First Aid

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #22 on: August 21, 2019, 09:23:12 AM »
I'm thinking the same thing, I imagine that getting up in the middle of the night to take antibiotics is making me feel so tired but I finish them today.

It just seems so futile because there's a high chance that I'll b**n again. You'd think that I'd have learnt by now but I still do stupid things to myself.  :fryingpan:

Life is hard and I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep for a bit, I can barely keep my eyes open.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #23 on: August 21, 2019, 12:38:29 PM »
I'm feeling so dejected and powerless, it's hard to keep going for the sake of others. Life is going by quickly and I have nothing to show for it. At the same time the fact that I could've died from sepsis doesn't scare me one bit.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10702
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #24 on: August 21, 2019, 05:02:39 PM »
I am sorry that things are so difficult for you!
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2019, 10:17:46 AM »
 :hug1:

It's hard when I wake up and want to cry simply because I have yet another day being me and having my brain. :( Especially after being up at 4am with itchy/sore burns and various other idiotic things that I've done to myself. I really wish that there wasn't such a stigma about suicide so that I could be truly honest about what I'm thinking but I have to keep the thoughts to myself and it's sh**.

I want to cancel the next OT appt because I don't feel like it's going anywhere. All of the things that are suggested as ways to cope I'm already doing anyway. Yet I'm forcing myself to go because I want there to be something that could help.

It's such a struggle to be me every single day. I get frequent bouts of depression in the same way that panic attacks can occur suddenly, I guess they could be considered as depression attacks.

 If I didn't have family and pets to think about I would be dead by now.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10702
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2019, 12:07:22 PM »
We care about you on here. Please keep your ot appointment. It's somebody that you can talk to, and be honest about how things are.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2019, 06:14:35 PM »
The problem is that I really struggle to be open about suicidal thoughts because I have had terrible reactions from professionals; I was sometimes incarcerated and other times they wouldn't take them seriously until I made an attempt and they made me feel stupid for mentioning it.

I have two different types of dressings on and seem to have reacted to both of them. On the one leg it kinda looks like something has bitten me but I'm not sure how a bug could have crawled under the sticky parts. Tonight I'll have to cut the sticky parts of the dressings off and just use a tube bandage to hold them in place. I'll ask the district nurse for advice when she domes tomorrow.

I'm also struggling a bit because the nearby pub is having some sort of event and it's very noisy. It'll be over by around 11. It'll be okay. I'll try and distract myself somehow. ::-\:
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10702
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #28 on: August 25, 2019, 06:45:04 PM »
What can you do to distract yourself?
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Grumblings *Trigs*
« Reply #29 on: August 25, 2019, 07:30:02 PM »
I've shut the windows to minimise the noise but I can still hear it. Reading won't be an option so I'll try and play a game on the Xbox.

I've sorted my dressings out too, I've put some antihistamine cream on the irritated parts while the actual burns are covered with appropriate dressings and held on with tube bandages. I think that having a cool shower helped too, feels much better! :)
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027: