Author Topic: Family dissaproval  (Read 51 times)

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Offline justine

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Family dissaproval
« on: June 03, 2019, 12:23:04 AM »
A lot has been going on lately. As a kid my childhood had its difficulties. There was never any emotion shown from mum to me and my sister (when we were older, eg teen years on). I'm not the same as my mum and sister. I've always kept me and my emotions hidden. The way my self harm was discovered and dealt with was a bad experience. When I tried wearing shorts for the first time as my scars had healed that was met with shock and horror and made me feel ashamed. When I came out as gay (via text message that I was gay, had a gf and was moving out) that was met with dissapointment in me, for the life mum thought I would have. She found out I smoked weed and that was handled badly too then has never been mentioned since. I like to wear boys clothes and that was never understood and mum tried to push me to wear girls clothes.

Now I'm in a predicament. I have an awesome and supportive best friend who has helped me to find who I truly am and I have my own dress sense and hair style and I'm doing my own thing. That's not been a problem until now.

I've met someone, a girl with whome things are going really well and I forsee this working out long term. I smoke (fags) and I think thats something I want to keep doing.
For the past 3 years I've had my flat for sale and had chosen an area closer to my family to move to.
But I don't want to move anymore. If things work out with the person I've met then I'll end up stuck in moving to the place I had planned to. So I want to cancel the sale of my flat and stay where I am.
Problem is, how do I tell my mum? Shes not going to be happy about any of this. I feel like I'm finally me, going out with friends and wearing my own style and smoking. And doing what I want to do. But I feel like my mums just going to be dissapointed in me. But I have to tell her about the girl I've met before she hears about it from others and I have to tell her I'm not moving to her anymore. I want to tell her about the smoking so I can be free.
But its so hard. I don't show her any emotions. I don't want her to see me in love and I don't want to hurt her and make her dissapointed.
If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Family dissaproval
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2019, 11:39:09 AM »
I'd say just mention things casually. Don't make a big deal and do the whole 'sit down, we need to talk' thing but just mention it casually as things come up naturally in conversation.
Try visiting her just for a chat, ask her how her life is and what she's been up to and when she asks you you can casually mention that you have a new girlfriend and things are going well. That way it won't be
such a shock and she might react a little better.
Since property prices are crap you can always just say that you're going to stay where you are for now and see how things go.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
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Offline justine

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Re: Family dissaproval
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2019, 02:30:44 PM »
Thanks :)
If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new

Offline justine

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Re: Family dissaproval
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2019, 02:42:39 PM »
It helps a lot as I get intense with people and want to tell them everything at once which overwhelms them and in turn brings negative feedback on me also
If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new