Author Topic: Blah blah blah *Could trig*  (Read 778 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10703
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2019, 05:38:54 PM »
You are not a burden even though your illness is telling you that. Depression lies to you. It says things like you are lazy, you are pathetic, you are a burden. However none of these things are true.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2019, 11:53:41 AM »
I'm not sure, what if the reason I'm depressed is because I know how crap and useless I am? Looking back it's pretty evident that I'm a failure.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10703
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2019, 05:30:07 PM »
You are not. You are struggling with an illness.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2019, 11:39:05 PM »
I feel really anxious and my senses seem to be heightened somehow, it's like the world is turned up loudly and everything is brighter and I feel a sense of urgency that I can't explain. I'm physically shaky and sometimes I feel fluttering in my chest. My scars are bothering me more than they usually do, especially that b**n scar from the time I went on the b**n ward. It looks horrid and dry, It's taking a lot of effort not to rub it with certain harmful things. I've already used That thing to harm my thighs and then I poured a substance on it.
Everything is getting to me y'know? And while struggling with this my horrible neighbour is starting her nonsense again. It's not just just me that has trouble with her but it's just more sh** on top of sh** until it's one big unmanageable and overwhelming pile of sh**.

I dunno, it's hard. I don't think I can do this, I want to hit my head until I'm knocked out, so far I've only given myself headaches. People are taking time to help me manage things that I should be able to manage myself but I'm so useless I can't keep up with things. I skip meals too, I think as a way to harm but I also keep forgetting. I feel like sh**. :(
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2019, 10:48:23 AM »
Aaand... Now I have to renew my PIP.  :no: I can't f***ing do this again!  :no: Another interrogation? Another tribunal? I can't.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2019, 10:56:14 AM »
I feel like crap, I'm going back to bed. This planet can f*** off today.
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline Skye

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 11116
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #16 on: June 07, 2019, 11:22:45 AM »
Iím here, I hear that itís really hard  :hug2:

Have you got a good book on the go?

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3772
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #17 on: June 07, 2019, 01:45:04 PM »
I'm worrying so much that I'm struggling to read and it's really crap because I love reading. :( Dexter is here though I worry that I'm not good enough for him.

Everything is hard, I have stuff to get done, things are too messy and it's stressing me out. I feel overwhelmed and I need to get out of bed :fryingpan: .

 I have to keep my crap together. C'mon Vermilion, you should be better than this! Grow up you stupid idiot and get on with it like a grown up. :fryingpan:
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline so sad

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 710
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #18 on: June 07, 2019, 02:11:34 PM »
Hi

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment.

Please don't judge myself by applying what you think are 'normal' standards. They don't exist. You're doing the best you can and that's enough, well, that's amazing actually.

You really do have a lot on so try to give yourself a break.

I'm sure you are an amazing Mum to Dexter - if you feed, water and love him then you are a winner to him. What more can he need? :emot-thumbsup11:

I think we all compare ourselves to others and assume we're failing - I know I do, all the time but its hard, b***** hard to just keep existing when we feel this bad so you're doing good.

xx

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10703
Re: Blah blah blah *Could trig*
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2019, 06:41:39 PM »
 :hug1:  I will have a read later.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'