Author Topic: Telling people *trig SH*  (Read 761 times)

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Offline sniper

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2019, 10:10:44 PM »
PTSD in my experience so far, is horrible. I donít know what youíre going through because everyone experiences it differently. The worst part for me is sensations. I canít handle it. I have triggers that drive on the road and I have to be real lucky on not seeing one. I have to literally hold myself together because Iím usually driving. Kinda bad to be in a flashback whilst driving! Once Iím not driving, it all comes out to the surface. I get ashamed when it happens and people are around me so I hide away. No one sees it.

I tried getting the appropriate therapies to help (I have a personality disorder too) but my mum died the day after starting it. Havenít been stable since so was unable to carry on. My mum going was not the cause, it was everything. I guess Iíd held back everything for a year so I met the criteria with regards to no SH and self destructive behaviours, that when my mum died unexpectedly, it threw me off any type of positive progression.

I hope that you have a helpful therapist first time round and begin that long awaited road to recovery. Donít be too hard on yourself if there are days when things slip. It will be expected. It seems you have had a lot to process since finding out the cause. ( diagnosis I mean sorry).

Anywho, hope today was okay ish.  :hug1:
"From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says.....I survived!"

Offline purplebutterfly

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2019, 11:00:52 PM »
Thanks Sniper
Was just coming on here to write that I am away from the people so why are they still in my head? I am a grown up so I ought to be able to move on. But it is taking over. What you wrote doesnít stop those feelings but it helps.
Today I was more awake that yesterday at least.
ďPooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.Ē

Offline sniper

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2019, 01:52:57 AM »
Itís not easy to just move on. Whether we want to  or others want us to.

The people that I get my flashbacks from are all different but it happened back when I was 15-18. 3 occasions seperately. I thought it hadnít bothered me till I turned 19. Then again I thought it wasnít bad till I accidentally tried to get them charged for it in 2014. Since then, Iíve been having it on full scale. What you said about not being near the people now, doesnít make a difference sometimes. I get what youíre saying because I havenít been around those people in my past since I was 19.

Life has a cruel way of making people suffer years or decades after it happens. Please donít feel it shouldnít get to you now. Itís just life crapping all over us. We think itís done and dusted but in reality it can come and bite you in the ass. Sometimes when you least expect it.

I guess that being more awake yesterday is a good step forward. I hope today goes okay ish for you.

Sorry if anything I say is irrelevant or not helpful. I try to put my experiences in to help others know that they are not completely alone when it feels their world is crashing down around them. Sometimes to others it can be helpful, some not helpful. I donít know anyone here personally (I hope ) so I donít know if what I say will help them in some way. All I can do is try. Itís all written from my heart though so I never set out to make situations worse. I guess all we can do, is try. I would love to say something/ anything thatíll make a tiny difference to how someone feels in that moment. Thatís the type of personality I have. To help where I can even if I donít know how.

Iíll stop now lol.  :hug1:
"From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says.....I survived!"

Offline purplebutterfly

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2019, 02:52:07 AM »
It does make a difference Sniper. And everyone else who comments or even just reads. I need to be heard to get better.

Being more awake yesterday was good. being awake at 2:30 a.m. is not

My situation is differnent - basically trauma from the day I was known to exist and they still had a degree of power until relatively recently. And I guess in some ways they still do. I have very few memories, but the emotional flashbacks are the killer, and I wake up with them. Canít say more. Terrified that somehow they will find out.

And the fact that this was trauma wasnít actually pointed out to me till 5 weeks ago.

Fortunately my GP  gets it somehow, and when she doesnít looks it up.

So if you can get your sort of flashbacks having not seen people for that long, I guess I need to be kinder to myself.

Might try that sleep thing again.
ďPooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.Ē

Online Tucan

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2019, 05:05:22 AM »
So if you can get your sort of flashbacks having not seen people for that long, I guess I need to be kinder to myself
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You do need to be kinder to yourself.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline purplebutterfly

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #25 on: March 19, 2019, 08:51:04 AM »
I am up.
I have injured.
Need to add steristrips but can't as in hotel with Mr PB.
Will make better scars if I don't.
ďPooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.Ē

Offline purplebutterfly

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #26 on: March 19, 2019, 10:17:40 AM »
Found a support forum for CPTSD! Already found a post about a symptom I felt was mine alone. Thank you Vermillion and Tucan for the little prod to keep trying.
ďPooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.Ē

Online Tucan

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #27 on: March 19, 2019, 12:05:20 PM »
Happy you have found somewhere.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline purplebutterfly

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #28 on: March 19, 2019, 01:28:24 PM »
Stuck myself back together
ďPooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.Ē

Online Tucan

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Re: Telling people *trig SH*
« Reply #29 on: March 19, 2019, 05:47:03 PM »
Bless you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'