Author Topic: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*  (Read 201 times)

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Online purplebutterfly

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CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« on: February 27, 2019, 09:48:43 AM »
CPTSD
The clue is in the diagnosis - complex.

Realy struggling now. The main problem is emotional flashbacks. I now know I have had them for as long as I can remember, and ulimately is why the self injury (SI, my prefered way of saying SH) started. Also why I stopped eating to try and disappear, and why I sometimes want to die. Haven’t been brave enough to ever try. I do frequently with I was dead.

But now I know what is happening it feels worse. I feel I ought to be able to get control of it all as I know intellectually that it is in the past and I have people who genuinely care. But I don’t feel like they could possibly care, and the terror of failure and pushing people away is still very, very real.

I am not worth all this effort. It is too hard to be my friend. Too hard to help me heal. And I don’t actually know if I ever will. GP tomorrow but don’t hold out a lot of hope that she has found a therapy option. NHS likes to have people they can fix so they can tick a box, not be in there for the long haul.

Really bad flashback yesterday. Knew exactly what had triggered it, recognised it for what it was. SI anyway. Couldn’t see any other way out of it.

I want to disappear.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online Tucan

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2019, 03:10:48 PM »
Take care.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Online Axia

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2019, 07:56:15 PM »
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, knowing what it is doesn't make it easier but it can be helpful for getting you the right treatment. Emotional flashbacks are horrible, I have them too and I really feel for you.

If you could get control over it then you would, like we all would but it is not easy so don't beat yourself up about it.

You are worth the effort to make you feel better but you are poorly so you can't see it. Hopefully your GP will have some ideas now so go tomorrow and see what they say.

We are all here for you  :hug2:
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. x

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2019, 07:06:43 AM »
GP soon.
Trying not to get too hopeful.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2019, 10:07:20 AM »
No hope was correct attitude
ISPTS non starter. Waiting list for “complex” treatment unit is at least 4 months.
So we just need to keep looking and muddling along together. On GP suggestion emailed therapist who I saw in 2015/16 and got it to see if she knows of anyone local.
If I were to go private cost likely to be £80 a week for 8 to 12 weeks, then less often as I learn to cope. Don’t have that kind of money.
 :banghead:
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online Tucan

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2019, 03:51:12 PM »
4 months isn't that long of a waiting list.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline jackgrillo

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2019, 05:08:31 PM »
Can you sign up for the 4 month waiting list whilst also exploring other options? At least then the 4 months starts now and if you exhaust all other options you can fall back on it? I know it seems like a long time, but it is shorter than it could be (in the past I've waited for almost a year for treatment).
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Online Tucan

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2019, 05:10:12 PM »
I was told a 2 year waiting list for the pyschologist.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2019, 05:18:59 PM »
From what GP said it is also connected to IAPTS who are totally against seeing me. SH scares them aparently. Scares me too!!!

“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: CPTSD / Emotional Flashbacks *trig SH, ED, Sui*
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2019, 06:56:39 PM »
As far as I can see in order to get therapy when you need it you need lots of money. The rest of us can suffer.  :ranting11:
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”