Author Topic: PTST *trig SH*  (Read 468 times)

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Online purplebutterfly

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PTST *trig SH*
« on: February 13, 2019, 08:30:34 AM »
Just seen GP. Always thought I “just” had depression. She has said it is PTSD. That is why I get a build up of tension and self injure. That is why I get flash backs. Started with a traumatic childhood, including knowing that my mum really didn’t want me when she was carrying me. Then 2 close friends died within 3 months. one very suddenly and one from cancer.

She says do I classify myself as a victim or a survivor.

 :sofa1:

I have never had a diagnosis before.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Offline jackgrillo

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2019, 08:46:40 AM »
A diagnosis is often a tricky thing to which to come to terms. One thing I have found tricky to hang on to is the fact that despite the diagnosis, you are still the same person you were yesterday. Just because you have this new ‘label’ doesn’t mean you are any different.

What the diagnosis can do (sometimes) is allow you and medical professionals to better assses what might help you in your particular case. Sometimes you have to have the magical label before you can access some help. Did your GP indicate what help may be available for you, or how any help you are currently getting might be adjusted?

PTSD is a complicated beast, or at least I my own experience, but not something that is insurmountable. It doesn’t define who you are, although it naturally informs it. Just because it’s got a name now doesn’t mean you suddenly ‘have’ it. You have been dealing with it longer than you’ve had the diagnosis!

:hug2:
:13328: <-- gregory
:13328: <-- that one was given to me by chihiro

I like walking in the rain because then nobody can see me cry

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2019, 11:23:46 AM »
Thanks
It is shooting about in my head at the moment. It explains why I get so angry. I think it will be helpful when I get used to the idea.

Unfortunately IAPT has said they won’t treat me further. I have had help from them in the past but I clearly “didn’t respond” as the self injury restarted. They also won’t offer counselling whilst I am still cutting. All low cost options in my area are full and even not putting people on a waiting list.

Fortunately I have an amazing GP. She is the first person to actually answer the question “what is “wrong” with me?”. She is seeing me every week and just prescribing as much mepore as I need whilst I work through this. She has also said she will see me for as long as I need her.

And she thinks I am a survivor
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Offline jackgrillo

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2019, 11:31:52 AM »
It must be really hard to get your head round. Is it also a relief to know that there is that diagnosis?

I get really frustrated with MH provisions who do that - it’s not a magic fix that as soon as you see someone you stop harming, it’s a (sometimes) long process that has its ups and downs. Sounds like you’ve got an amazing GP though, which is at least something. Is she able to use any leverage on some of the MH professionals, do you know?

I think you probably are a survivor - you’re still fighting and going and seeing the professionals even when it would be easy to just shy away and give up.
:13328: <-- gregory
:13328: <-- that one was given to me by chihiro

I like walking in the rain because then nobody can see me cry

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2019, 01:04:20 PM »
It is a relief. Something happened to me.
And also tricky. Did I deserve it?

I know that one of my best friends just won’t get it as she is rubbish with MH issues anyway, and PTSD from childhood won’t work for her. Also it is hard to get my head round the fact that the initial PTSD is due to stuff I don’t remember. I have virtually no memory before the age of 15, and very sketchy from then. I have had it explained to me that my brain chemistry has been affected by constant fear and never feeling safe, but it is difficult to deal with that as well.

GP has tried already. But she is actually doing a really good job at the moment. Realistically no one NHS will see me till I stop for a period of time  :ranting11:  so I will keep working with 20 mins a week from GP. And it is longer when I need it.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: PTSD *trig SH*
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2019, 01:47:13 PM »
Started reading
Is me.
cPTSD
Overwhelm starting.
 ??????!?

“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online Tucan

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2019, 06:27:40 PM »
I am happy that you have a fantastic GP. It really does help you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2019, 06:21:13 AM »
GP gave me sleeping tablets yesterday. Weeks of disturbed sleep and a major unexpected trigger had me in tears yesterday. Useful short term. She says a week. Glad I have them with all this in my head. Doesn’t seem to stop me waking up at 5:30.

Where do I go from here?

I am the same person I was when I woke up yesterday.But there is so much information in my brain.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”

Online Tucan

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2019, 12:21:15 PM »
Hopefully you can start moving forward. Now you know what you are fighting that is half the battle.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online purplebutterfly

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Re: PTST *trig SH*
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2019, 01:26:13 PM »
Hope so. A lot of conflicting thoughts.
And sleeping tablets seem to have upset my tummy. Trying to get in touch with GP.
“Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people look at it.”