Author Topic: Feeling low  (Read 184 times)

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Offline indigo

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Feeling low
« on: December 16, 2018, 11:23:26 AM »
Just feel quite low at the minute. It's been like a heavy cloud has been following me the last few weeks. I thought Taking a week off from work would help to perk me up a little. I really enjoyed being off and spending time with my partner.
I'm back to work as normal tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. It can be a loud, stressful environment, and mentally draining. I've tried leaving the job altogether, but I can't seem to find an appropriate job to give it up for. My employers are very supportive and fully aware of my mental health difficulties, and have done all they can to work with me. But I'm still struggling and don't know how much more energy i have left. There is a possibility to move to another day centre, but that brings its own difficulties. Such as a longer commute and more customers with  very challenging behaviour due to their disabilities. I don't know if I have energy for that either.

I'm also feeling alone, which isn't a true picture as I have a supportive partner, friends and family etc. At the minute I feel like I'm a million miles away from everyone. My partner is also having to deal with an unexpected health issue. She was told the other day that she has a small blockage in an area of her heart, which has obviously caused her to worry. She hasn't talked much about it though, I think she is trying to protect me from the worry.

A few months ago, the lady who I saw for counselling moved to London, so our sessions and counselling relationship has ended. I don't feel comfortable doing Skype etc. However just as she was leaving I began seeing a cpn, and she kept saying how I can get help from them now etc. For a moment I thought I was going to get the help i need. However she has now left on long term sick. So back to square one. I've made it worse, as I said that I didn't want to see anyone else, due to having to start all over again. I think I was under the impression that I would see the same cpn on her return. This is not the case though. I have now been passed to the duty team who will ring me once a month. I have also been referred to mbt, hopefully starting next May. The cpn said that I don't need the counselling sessions, but rather need to learn tools you deal with emotions. I have bpd/ eupd.
I agree the mbt will probably be useful. But what about now? I'm finding things a bit overwhelming.

Sorry for the long post, I'm not expecting replies. Just needed to write it.

Online Tucan

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Re: Feeling low
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2018, 12:14:53 PM »
Hugs. Cannot give you a full reply at the moment but wanted you to know I am listening to you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online Axia

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Re: Feeling low
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2018, 07:25:32 PM »
Hi. I hope that writing things down helped you a little bit, sometimes it just helps to get it out your head.
I'm sorry you're having such a bad time, I'm glad you have supportive employers and friends and family around you although I know you can still feel alone. It's nice to know that they are there for you.
I have bpd and I did a mbt introduction course this summer and I think it helped, it's hard waiting around for the main course though, you kind of just feel stuck. I'm sorry you're going through that too.
I'm sorry I can't really help but I'm thinking of you  :hug2:
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. x

Offline indigo

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Re: Feeling low
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2018, 06:14:14 AM »
Than you for your replies, it's nice to know that people are listening, especially from those who have probably had similar experiences.  :hug1: