Author Topic: Advice on talking to others  (Read 215 times)

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Offline Daisyduke74

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Advice on talking to others
« on: September 20, 2018, 06:36:28 AM »
Hi, new here so a little nervous about being open. But Iíve probably been hurting myself in one way or another most of my life. Tend to go through phases for when I do it either that or sometimes donít realise Iím doing it by doing it in a more discrete way. My query is what have people generally experienced after telling someone about what they do? I told someone recently and obviously think they were surprised. Unfortunately had a drink when I told them so it wasnít ideal, but now sometimes feel like itís hanging over us in the background not spoken about or mentioned. Theyíve said they wonít tell anyone unless they feel the need to, but now worry that they will without my knowledge and itíll confirm how weird I am.

Online Tucan

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2018, 08:56:54 AM »
It can be tricky talking to others about self harm. But it can also help you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Rob

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2018, 12:56:19 PM »
 :welcomeani1:
It's not weird that you self harm, it's the coping method that some people have to help them through whatever issues are behind them. There can be lots of reasons why you resort to this method, and that's what's important to address so you can tackle those issues and not feel those urges.
Getting the right support is important, and for that you do need to be able to talk to people, but it can be very difficult to open up about such matters. If you can confide in people that you know you can trust, you might choose to do so, but talking to a healthcare professional might help you more. Have you tried to talk to your GP?
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Offline Vermilion

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 01:55:21 PM »
Whenever people have found out about my SH I have had both understanding and negative responses. I recommend visiting your GP as Rob suggested before you tell anyone else. In general the negative responses have been due to a lack of understanding but some people don't want to understand and you need to be prepared for that.
There's no need to be ashamed or feel weird because you SH but it's probably best to talk to your GP about it. GPs are very aware of MH/SH problems and won't judge you.
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Offline Daisyduke74

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 06:21:57 PM »
I've not spoken to a GP or anyone else about it. I guess i've just got an image of being locked up or given meds for the SH, but by the same token appreciate that such views aren't necessarily likely. I didn't intend on telling this other person about my SH as I tend not to talk about my personal views at all (especially about how I feel) so no idea what made me do it. I'm usually very private and generally not very good at communicating in a personal manner (alright at work, but when it comes to social I find I really struggle and get ridiculously nervous and just clam up).
I did see a councillor about my social nervousness and fear of social occasions but never felt like I got anything out of it so feel I have a view it would be similar if I opened up about SH.

Online Tucan

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 06:32:34 PM »
It takes a long time to overcome something like this. It can happen with the right support and people in your life helping you. I don't know what support would be good for you as I do not know you or your situation. I have had various support in the past some has helped me more than others. I largely no longer self harm, but that doesn't mean I don't have issues or haven't slipped up. I am more likely to talk to people now even if it is really difficult. Everyone is different. The main thing is to not give yourself a hard time Bout it. That can make things more difficult for you. Keep talking on here.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Daisyduke74

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2018, 07:32:27 PM »
i probably wouldn't have come on here had I not said anything the other day. I don't feel bad about saying what I did as I don't seem to be too bothered about it. The thing that puzzles me is whether anything would likely change. It doesn't look like it as I believe I can trust this other person but time will tell.
I'm so tired at the moment, sleep so well at night but feel so tired at work. Don't always really know how I feel as I think i've mastered the art of putting my "game face" on when at work and dodging the usual did you have a good weekend kind a questions. I don't really have any friends that I meet up with so don't get out that much which will partly be why i've nobody to talk to. Then feel like a failure and that people know i'm a failure, boring and ugly so to be avoided.

Online Tucan

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Re: Advice on talking to others
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2018, 08:23:44 PM »
Is there something going on in your life at the moment that could be making things difficult for you?
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'