Author Topic: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)  (Read 1199 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #70 on: November 28, 2018, 10:07:48 PM »
Sounds like an ordeal to go through. It also sounds like you have some plans in place.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #71 on: December 01, 2018, 05:03:41 PM »
I hope that your work party goes well tonight, maybe it'll help improve your mood :).

I wake up panicking sometimes too, it improved when I started sertraline but still happens sometimes. It's horrible. :hug2:
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
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Offline terrified heart

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #72 on: December 02, 2018, 02:25:55 AM »
Thanks xx

Work party went well. I got drunk but not stupidly so. Iím home now and in bed after having some toast. I felt a bit sad when I got back because ĎAí who I had the fling with avoided me all evening, so I took a lorazepam when I got home about an hour ago and hopefully Iíll sleep now and wake up ok.

I take sertraline and have done for about 7 years. I think cutting down on the olanzapine (which my psych told me to do) is having an effect on my sleep and contributing to my waking up in a panic. Iíve definitely been more anxious since I halved the dose.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #73 on: December 02, 2018, 08:31:30 AM »
 :hug2:

Happy the party went ok though.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline terrified heart

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #74 on: December 03, 2018, 07:22:42 AM »
I almost hurt myself last night. Came really close. Started to prepare the Ďthingsí I needed to do it. I didnít do it though. Woke up this morning and the urge is still there.

I emailed a local tattooist yesterday to enquire about getting a new tattoo on my forearm. Thatís the place I usually harm so Iím trying to concentrate on getting that done instead.

I feel a bit down today
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Online Tucan

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #75 on: December 03, 2018, 09:40:42 AM »
You have done really well so far to not hurt yourself.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline terrified heart

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #76 on: December 03, 2018, 08:20:34 PM »
I was planning on harming when I left work, but I havenít. The tattooist messaged me back - he has a cancellation next week that I can have. I need to ask work for the day off though. Otherwise he said he can do it in the New Year. Something to aim for though.

I cried on the way home from work. Iíve not cried for a while. I hope I feel better when the alcohol from Saturday is fully out of my system. I have a pre therapy meeting on Thurs with the psychologist, my recovery worker and my CPN to discuss how I will cope with therapy. Itís still a good 4-5months away because of the waiting list.
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Online Tucan

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #77 on: December 03, 2018, 08:38:48 PM »
That sounds like a productive meeting. Hope I goes well for you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #78 on: December 06, 2018, 02:38:43 PM »
Tattoo sounds like a nice idea, I plan on doing the same though I'll need a full set of sleeves  :blushing1:. What are you getting?
I'm glad that you managed to not SH.  :hug1:
RIP Clyde - November 25th 2018
RIP Bonnie - November 24th 2018
RIP Columbus - August 22nd 2018
:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :1027:

Offline terrified heart

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Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Reply #79 on: December 19, 2018, 09:25:57 PM »
Sorry Iíve not posted for a bit. My head has been too chaotic to form a full post.

I think Iím heading into a depression. Iím still having SH urges (still not acting on them) and Iím also thinking a lot about suicide. My mood is quite low and Iím struggling to cope with my feelings about a lot of areas of my life. Iím also still waking up panicking and crying.

Iíve only got about a weeks worth of my olanzapine left. The psych has stopped it. I donít think Iím going to be very good when Iím not taking any of them. This is the worst time of the year for me anyhow I donít think stopping my APs is going to help with my already low and fluctuating mood. My psych just seems to want me back out of secondary MH services and getting me off APs is his first step. I donít care about not seeing him again as I donít really gain anything from the appointments, but I donít think stopping my meds at what is always a horrid time of year is going to end well. Iím seeing my support worker tomorrow and Iím going to tell her all this to see if she can get psych to reverse the decision.

Iím still having problems with my stomach. Iím sure itís gynae. At work one of my colleagues questioned if I might be pregnant as Iím having loads of related symptoms. A hospital doctor and my GP both pregnancy tested me in oct and in Nov both were negative. But now Iím paranoid there was a mistake. I mean Iím pretty certain Iím not but now Iím scared. I canít get to see my GP until Jan 18th.

Iím trying really hard not to get myself stressed over everything. I keep getting het up and angry over things that donít even directly affect me. I see to be permanently in a rage. I feel so unhappy so much of the time.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer