More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)

[Vermilion]

You really did have a horrible day yesterday, I hope your back feels better soon. Are you going to do something nice to remember the guinea? I planted a tree over Columbus so I have something to remember him by. 

[terrified heart]

Hi. Thanks for the replies last week.

I took the strong painkillers over the weekend and they helped but haven’t solved the problem. I’m still having quite bad pains in my back and stomach. I’m so uncomfortable. Spoke to a GP this afternoon (it’s so hard to get a face to face appointment) and he thinks I might have an ovarian cyst. I’ve been booked in to see a female GP for an examination next Weds and just been told to take standard over the counter painkillers until then. I’m so miserable and snappy because I’m in pain!

I rehomed a male guinea on Monday! I’ve called him Buddy. It’s nice to have a furry pal to come home to again. I miss my girl loads, but I’m sure the bond between me and Buddy will soon come.

[Tucan]

Aww bless you. Guineas are great! I have 7 of them. I am sorry that you are in pain. It seems like a while to wait for your appointment. Hope you can manage until then.

[Vermilion]

I'm sure you and Buddy will  be very happy .

Have you tried heat packs for your stomach and back? They help me when I have really bad period pain, I know it's not the same as what you have but it might help a bit. I hope the examination goes OK, not the most pleasant of things but hopefully it will find the problem for you.

[terrified heart]

Thanks both xx

Buddy is such a different character to my others, it’s really funny to learn his personality traits. I forgot what it was like to have a young piggy, my girl was over 6.5yrs when I lost her. Buddy is around 1yr old and full of energy.

Heat is actually the biggest help. I have a hot water bottle a lot of the time at home and I have some of those stick on heat packs which I can use when I’m out, although it’s a bit expensive to use them all the time. Perhaps a heat rub might help? I could ask the pharmacist at work tomorrow. The GP said I can take anti inflammatories (ibuprofen) again now, but might need to take something to protect my stomach with it. Apparently my AD can make you more likely to have stomach problems with ibuprofen, not that I’ve ever been told that before, despite being on this AD for 7 years!!

Weds does feel quite far away, but at least I know I have an appointment arranged so I haven’t got to worry about trying to make one. I’m not sure if I posted this before but I’ve had another appointment sent for the psychologist, it’s a week tomorrow (Fri 26th).

[Tucan]

Good luck.

[terrified heart]

Oh god.
I just really scared myself...

***TRIG SH SUI***

I just had to fight through my most intense urges to SH or end my life. Jesus that was powerful. I sat down in the shower and sobbed and sobbed until I felt safe enough to go to my room to take a lorazepam. I had that tingle feeling that just makes you want to cut through your skin, like a physical sensation urging you to do it. I’ve not had that exact urge for so many years.

Then while I’ve been riding it out until the loraz kicks in my head has been plagued with plans to put an end to my life.

These types of thoughts are so frightening. A part of my brain wants to inflict physical damage on me and wants to murder me. It’s terrifying.

[Tucan]

It does sound scary. But it also shows strength that you have managed it in a positive way. You are fighting.

[Rob]

I hope that you're ok now 

[Terri]

Hey TH.


That sounds really scary. How're you doing today?