Author Topic: Nearing the end  (Read 307 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 2909
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #20 on: August 16, 2018, 08:02:28 PM »
I struggle with relationships too. You're brave for admitting that.
I'm glad that you're feeling more,positive now too.  :hug2:
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Offline terrified heart

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10175
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #21 on: August 16, 2018, 09:48:30 PM »
Thanks xx xx

Relationships are so hard! But I guess that blaming myself and calling myself flawed and unlovable isnít going to help them be any less hard. It wonít come naturally but I know I need to give myself a break and try to see some positive things about me.

I really want to go back to the gym. I spoke to a girl I work with about gym stuff (she goes regularly) and she gave me some pointers. She suggested just doing say 10 mins on the cross trainer and 10 mins on the bike, or treadmill, or rower to begin with and build things up slowly. Joining is on my list of things Iíd like to do, Iím hoping to have started going by next week.

I am going to my friends for a coffee at the weekend. She lives by the gym so I could maybe do both things on the same day. Iím not seeing her tomorrow now as she has to do family stuff, but Iíve said Iíll pop over maybe Sunday.

Iíve started chatting to a man on an app. Iím not going to rush into meeting him or anything. Iím just letting myself give people a chance and get my confidence back that maybe I am a likeable person.

Little steps, small goals, Ďsafeí risks....
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 9714
  • Its a cup, not a toilet!
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #22 on: August 16, 2018, 10:32:21 PM »
You are a likable person. I know it is hard to see that.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 2909
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #23 on: August 17, 2018, 07:14:30 PM »
Yea, don't over do it at the Gym or you'll never go back! I think that a lot of Gyms have instructors which might be helpful. What about Yoga as well? I think you've found that good before?

It's nice to know that you're socialising again too, hopefully it'll go well with that bloke but don't blame yourself if it doesn't, it takes a few tries sometimes.
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Offline terrified heart

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10175
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #24 on: August 17, 2018, 08:15:46 PM »
Thank you xx

Because Iím self conscious of my weight and fitness at the moment I just want to do solo exercise for a bit. Iíd be uncomfortable at this stage doing exercise with others, even an instructor. The girl at work goes to a different gym, but she gave me a few bits of advice of how to start off. I would like to get back into yoga soon. Itís on my list of things I can aim for. I have got to big for my previous gym clothes so I might pop to Primark and get something tomorrow ready to go to the gym on Sunday.

Iíve had a few wobbles the last couple of days where something someone has said (without it being their intention) has knocked me a bit. I guess Iím quite sensitive and itís not taking much to upset me. Iím still letting myself think some positive things about myself, which is not coming easily, but is improving my mood when I can do it.

Iíve text the bloke today and he answered. Iím not really thinking ahead with this, if anything happens Iíll see how it goes, but no pressure. I donít want to be with someone just for the sake of it. Iím happy to wait for someone who it feels right to be with.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 9714
  • Its a cup, not a toilet!
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #25 on: August 17, 2018, 08:30:12 PM »
Take things slowly with him. Be his friend and find out who he is first. Then take things from there. You don't want to rush into things. It's good you have found somebody. Try to enjoy it.

Wobbles are to be expected. Try to not see it as something bad. Keep moving forward you are doing great. I understand that it is difficult for you. It's bound to be. the gym sounds positive. I am not brave enough for that. I like yoga and would love to be in a yoga group. I hope you manage to join. One.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline terrified heart

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10175
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2018, 08:25:12 PM »
I didnít join the gym this weekend, but I did buy new gym leggings. So thatís the first step done.

Iím a bit more positive now, but still having bad thoughts sometimes and sad moments. I did see a friend for a couple of hours today and enjoyed it so hopefully I will keep up with socialising. I know itís not good for me to shut myself away but itís so hard sometimes.

I have blood test booked for tomorrow morning. Need to get my cholesterol checked, which Iím pretty sure is going to be really high. I also need my prolactin levels checking as Iíve stopped having periods again plus am having hot sweats.

Iím not happy with my medication (AP). I wanted to talk to psych about changing it but the appointment didnít go as planned. I donít think Iíll be seeing him for a couple of months now. I think it is making my mood low. My CPN is off until September 5th, but I should be seeing recovery worker before then.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 9714
  • Its a cup, not a toilet!
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #27 on: August 19, 2018, 09:22:44 PM »
Good luck with everything. Happy you managed to socialise a bit.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 2909
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #28 on: August 20, 2018, 09:33:22 AM »
I struggle with socialising too, it's exhausting being with other people especially when you're feeling bad. It's OK to be alone sometimes though.

It's good to know that you're feeling more positive :hug1:. Maybe chat to your recovery worker about your meds? It might help to just talk things through with someone.
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Offline terrified heart

  • 18+
  • Always here
  • ***
  • Posts: 10175
Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #29 on: August 22, 2018, 08:37:52 PM »
I had a good appointment with the recovery worker. She rang my GP surgery to make sure I was booked in for the right blood tests and to clarify if I need to fast before. The blood test is tomorrow morning now. She said that itís absolutely fine to have an earlier appointment with my psych if the results show any problems that my AP might be causing.

Iíve not socialised yet this week because Iíve been so tired after work. Iím also suffering allergy type symptoms which are annoying me. The antihistamine that works best makes me drowsy, so Iím struggling to do much after work. I have a GP appointment next Wednesday. Iím going to try to see friends at the weekend for a few hours.

My boss said some nice things about my work today which was nice to hear. Iím trying to see the good in myself although it doesnít come easily.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer