Author Topic: Nearing the end  (Read 394 times)

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Offline terrified heart

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Nearing the end
« on: August 13, 2018, 09:19:21 PM »
**TRIG Sui, death**

Iíve still got this feeling that I am nearing the end of my life. Now my holiday is over Iím left wondering how many more things I have left to experience. Will I be here for Christmas? How many more times will I see my family? Friends?

Iím scared of what the actual end will be like. Will it be scary? Painful? Will I go quickly?

I think chances are my cause of death will be suicide. I need to think it through properly. Put plans in place, but itís scary. I donít know how to do this.

I see my recovery worker tomorrow afternoon and then my CPN and psych on Wednesday. Iíll say all this stuff to them, but I donít feel it will change anything.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2018, 09:38:42 PM »
Bless you. Sounds quite scary. You need to talk about this. I hope your pysch and cpn can help you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Rob

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2018, 09:51:22 PM »

I think chances are my cause of death will be suicide. I need to think it through properly. Put plans in place, but it’s scary. I don’t know how to do this.

I see my recovery worker tomorrow afternoon and then my CPN and psych on Wednesday. I’ll say all this stuff to them, but I don’t feel it will change anything.
Please make sure that you do - without glossing over anything. These thoughts don't help you, they work against you.  :hug2:
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Offline Ginger

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2018, 12:45:43 AM »
Hello,
Was going to ask how you got on but then realised your appointment is later today! Really hope you get what you need from it, please take care.
Ginger xx

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2018, 09:13:36 PM »
I hope that you managed  to get some help with these thoughts, they can be very scary, :hug1:.
RIP Columbus :bunny: :1027:
August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2018, 09:30:00 PM »
How was it?
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2018, 11:52:04 PM »
The recovery worker said my mind is unwell and telling me lies about dying. She thinks I can get past this and live a happy life again. I donít think she is right, but Iíve agreed to give my psych and CPN a chance of helping to change things when I see them tomorrow.

Iíve cried a bit today. I canít stop myself thinking about the end. Thinking about the things I still want to do and the things I need to sort out before I go. I really want to spend one last night cuddling up to someone, to feel that safety and affection and to feel some kind of love. Just for one night.

This whole thing is making me feel so sad. Every time I say goodbye to someone I wonder if itís the last time I will see them.

I donít know how the psych and CPN will be able to change any of this but Iíve nothing to lose by giving them a chance tomorrow.
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Online Tucan

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2018, 09:40:33 AM »
I hope it goes well with the cpn and pyschiatrist today. I am happy you spoke to your key worker and that it went ok.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline terrified heart

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2018, 05:21:11 PM »
Appointment was a disaster. I really wish I hadnít gone. Psychiatrist basically said I need to snap myself out of this and make myself enjoy being alive. Itís made me feel more certain that this world isnít for me. Everything he suggested I should do feels impossible and pointless. And I canít be bothered to even try. Iím just going to plod on until the day arrives that I know itís the right day to die. Itís pointless trying to find pleasure in anything now. Itís literally just a case of plodding on until I end my life.

Iíve said Iíll go round to my friends house on Friday and Iím absolutely dreading it. I just really canít be bothered to try to do anymore than whatís absolutely necessary to keep going until the time comes that I can let go and die.
See something new, do something new, learn something new, go somewhere new... See what this world has to offer

Online Tucan

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Re: Nearing the end
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2018, 06:03:54 PM »
I am sorry it didn't go well for you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'