Author Topic: Dad died  (Read 205 times)

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Offline jandj

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Dad died
« on: June 12, 2018, 11:48:57 PM »
I have been right as rain for a long time but my dad recently died. I loved my dad and he faced the abuse I suffered as a child and I am more devastated than I expected when he died.
I've started drinking, can't stop eating and beginning to think back to the safe routine of self harm. I've gone 6 years okay,,,,what is wrong with me. I loved my dad....no angst over the death so why am I struggling?

Offline Lorien

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Re: Dad died
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2018, 01:17:48 AM »
I think because most people would be? Even if they hadn't felt like that before I think a lot of people fall back on things that have been there when they felt awful before when they are grieving. do you know what has helped you not to self harm in that 6 years? maybe doing some of them may help at the worst points? Are there any people around IRL that knew your Dad that you can talk to about him? losing a parent is a huge deal, it is ok to find it hard.
“Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.”

“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Offline Rob

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Re: Dad died
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 02:24:25 PM »
I agree - this is a hard situation to have to deal with, but it's not of your making and you can get through this without getting back into old habits. Try not to be hard on yourself.
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Offline Vermilion

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Re: Dad died
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2018, 09:18:32 PM »
Perhaps you just don't know what you're feeling or maybe you've switched off from it- I've done this. It's difficult to deal with things like this us an everyone reacts differently, there's nothing wrong with you.  Feelings can be very mixed and SH seems easier to deal with but a little could lead to a downward spiral.
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Offline jandj

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Re: Dad died
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2018, 08:16:13 PM »
I do feel a bit switched off from it and then something makes me remember dad and I feel bleak and then annoyed at myself for getting upset as dad wouldn't want that and then.....I don't know really. I guess it's all normal and I'm in a phase where I feel stable again. Deep breath and carry on I reckon but something feels desolate about it.

Online Tucan

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Re: Dad died
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2018, 09:31:42 PM »
It is an extremely difficult event to deal with. Don't be hard on yourself over coping. You are doing just fine. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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