Author Topic: Sad  (Read 189 times)

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Offline Patient Pianist

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Sad
« on: May 10, 2018, 10:17:39 PM »
Ive tried writing this so many times but i can't get it right.

i feel just so sad.  i cant explain it. It physically hurts.

i dont feel like i can do this anymore. Nothing  has changed,

i havent been here for ages, but i dont know where else to go.


Online Tucan

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Re: Sad
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2018, 10:36:27 PM »
Is there anyone you can talk to? Keep talking on here. What other things have you been up to?
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Patient Pianist

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Re: Sad
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2018, 11:54:14 PM »
i dont know. ive hidden it all away recently. All memories have been hard and flashbacks are strong.
Inside me mostly feels numb but this saddness is crippling me.  ive wanted to die for so long now and every time it nearly gets the better of me, i le to myself and everyone each time i make up an excuse about wanting help.  The best thing for me would to be able to put an end to everything.

Selfish kiling myself, selfish not killing myself.

i even half convinced myself i had stopped self harming, i didnt, i sterotyped myself and stopped cutting. But there are a myriad of ways to self harm...... who was i kidding. i have this intense need to obliterate myself but it wont work yet. All the time i have to be causing pain, from very low level self harm to more aggressive self harm, but its like a compulsion, i cant not do it?

Offline Kenzie444

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Re: Sad
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2018, 06:53:13 AM »
Hey Pianist, I'm new here. Totally get the compulsion - and the varying ways of harming yourself. Even self talk can be harmful - if our minds aren't right.

I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my feelings, but I don't know why. Do you have people you feel comfortable talking to?

Remember it's ok to be sad about things too - don't guilt yourself as that's only going to add to the bad feelings.

Online Tucan

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Re: Sad
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2018, 07:36:20 AM »
 :hug2: take care. I understand that things are difficult at the moment. I think you need some support at the moment.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Patient Pianist

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Re: Sad
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2018, 09:45:48 PM »
Thank you both for replying.
Evetything has just been so hard, not on a major scale as such, but every tiny little thing is so hard it makes living really tiring and just draining.
I dont have any support at the moment. I feel very isolated at the moment but i also dont want to be anywhere near people. I supposedly help people with extreme anxiety and i feel like a hypocrit cause i dont want to do anything i suggest to anyone else.

Online Tucan

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Re: Sad
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2018, 09:56:49 PM »
Bless you. Be nice to yourself.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Patient Pianist

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Re: Sad
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2018, 01:44:13 AM »
I dont really want to be. Guess thats the problem. Everytime today i have caught myself zoning out i have been pulling out or at my hair mainly, but other lower level harm.
All i want is to be gone, dead, i want my mind to stop racing, i want to sleep through it cause i am so so tired but everything is just racing.  :hissyfit:

Online Tucan

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Re: Sad
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2018, 11:06:24 AM »
Sounds exhausting for you.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Riotstar42

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Re: Sad
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2018, 02:11:46 AM »
I know the feeling. It seems like an wndless cycle sometimes and its just exhausting. I hadnt been on here for ages until recently as well.

Things can change though, i just started seeing a therapist who is amazing and has really been helping me. Whats hwlped in the past when youve been in this kind of place?
Does the mind rule the body or does the body rule the mind?