Author Topic: What if I can't make my Daughter get help?  (Read 266 times)

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Offline ScaredMum

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What if I can't make my Daughter get help?
« on: May 08, 2018, 02:53:47 PM »
I'm new to this forum and completely new to this situation so I am hoping for some help or guidance.
I am hoping you can give me some advice. I noticed scratches on my Daughter's wrist last year - it was obvious it wasn't an accident, they were 4 or 5 straight lines so she had cut herself. She denied it and said she had scratched it at school so I let it go and didn't want to get on at her. However I have noticed a lot of tissues with blood on in her bedroom bin over the last few weeks - again, the blood is in straight lines rather than splodges. She said it was a nose bleed. She has been wearing long sleeved jumpers all the time even though it is boiling here. I am worried sick about her. I have researched online so I spoke to her yesterday, I didn't get cross or tell her to stop. I just told her that we love her, want to help and that she can talk to us about anything. I made it clear I knew what she has been doing and she didn't deny it, I said she needs to be so careful about making sure she is keeping cuts clean etc.
I just don't know what to do next. I suggested she stays off school today so we could go to the dr but she said no. She is 15 and a half and has always been such a happy, funny girl and it is devastating to think she is so unhappy.
I've spoken to an online counsellor today who suggested speaking to the school and dr, however I want my Daughter to know she can trust me so I don't want to do this without her agreement - and at the moment she won't agree to it. What do I do if she never agrees to see/speak to someone?
I know this isn't about me but I feel sick with worry all the time, I haven't slept properly for over a week, I worry she is going to do something more than she wants and every time she goes upstairs I imagine her sitting hurting herself  :(

Online Tucan

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Re: What if I can't make my Daughter get help?
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2018, 05:07:56 PM »
It can be difficult for families of people who self harm. Try to keep in mind that it is her way to cope. Give her time to settle down to the idea of going to the Dr, it is probably scary for her. Reassure her that nothing bad is going to happen.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline sanjo

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Re: What if I can't make my Daughter get help?
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2018, 02:03:51 PM »
Hi
Did you manage to persuade your daughter to see the doctor or a therapist? I am in the same boat now, I am so sad for my daughter. Not that she has done this to herself but sad that she has felt the need to do so.

Online Lorien

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Re: What if I can't make my Daughter get help?
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2018, 09:32:43 PM »
like you said trust is really important and not going behind her back will help with that. Have you talked to her about your concerns and how it is affecting you? Do you generally have an open relationship - does she tell you when other things are bothering her?
“Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.”

“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”