I really feel for you, knowing your daughter is unwell mentally and being so far away from home. I guess it might be a case of choosing your battles and avoiding highly emotional conversations with her, especially by phone. Obviously if she starts the conversation it is difficult, but just keep the lines of communication open and let her know you're there for her. It's tough when your children are going through this, regardless of their age. Whilst her dr cannot discuss her with you, there isn't nothing to stop you calling or writing to the dr to let them know of your concerns.