Author Topic: Worried Mum For Daughter - I am lost  (Read 321 times)

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Offline KateO

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Worried Mum For Daughter - I am lost
« on: May 02, 2018, 12:50:56 PM »
I have a 19 yr old daughter and she started to self harm last year around A level period.   She is now at Uni not near home and some days she  comes across happy the next minute she is horrible.  When I go to make a point I get the attitude from her and the well I might not be here today, or what do you want me to hang myself.  I really don't know how to deal with this.   She is now on about moving in with the boyfriend who she only knows a few months.  I am at a lost.  I really would like to know is there anyone that I can talk to to help me.  I worry all the time about her. 
She is attending the doctor and he has given her anti depression tablets and the uni are aware as well.

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Worried Mum For Daughter - I am lost
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2018, 01:51:58 PM »
Going to the doctors was a good first step. ADs can take a while to work and it often takes a few attempts to find the right one and the right dose but she will need counseling too. Has the doctor referred her anywhere? You could also try something like mind, I think its Young Minds for those under 25. They can provide counselling and support groups for your daughter and they may also have groups for parents that you could attend, you need support too.
Re the boyfriend situation, it could be that she is feeling as though she needs to move out because she's 'old enough now' and the boyfriend makes it easier. I felt the same at that age and I moved back with my parents a few times. As long as there's no danger to her you could let her stay with him for a while but let her know that you will help her if it doesn't work out and she won't be on her own. Sometimes we just need to learn from our mistakes. You're bound to worry especially because she's quite far away but if you push her she'll probably push you away so the best thing you can do is be there.
I'm not a parent myself but I did put my own parents through a lot of agro so hopefully my insight of that time may help.
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Offline KateO

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Re: Worried Mum For Daughter - I am lost
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2018, 02:32:47 PM »
Thank you. 

Offline Skye

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Re: Worried Mum For Daughter - I am lost
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2018, 04:30:49 PM »
I really feel for you, knowing your daughter is unwell mentally and being so far away from home. I guess it might be a case of choosing your battles and avoiding highly emotional conversations with her, especially by phone. Obviously if she starts the conversation it is difficult, but just keep the lines of communication open and let her know you're there for her. It's tough when your children are going through this, regardless of their age. Whilst her dr cannot discuss her with you, there isn't nothing to stop you calling or writing to the dr to let them know of your concerns.