Author Topic: Mood starting to go other way.  (Read 3116 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #210 on: August 12, 2018, 06:43:37 PM »
There was a character with bipolar depression. She was suicidal. The ambulance came out to her. She was dismissed and told she was ok. She then jumps off a bridge. Causes a massive pile up. Then she changes her mind and decides she wants to live. She later died in hospital.

I understand what you are saying. But I have to try to deal with this on my own. I need to learn to not go running everytime I have a blip. I have to learn to live with this condition and deal with it. I will probably tell the cpn when I see her at the end of this month. I haven't got conselling tomorrow. Shame as I could do with talking about stuff.

I am feeling a better today. My suicidal thoughts are not as strong. I am managing better with them. I am just a bit shook up by the casualty storyline.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #211 on: August 12, 2018, 07:00:40 PM »
It sounds like the story was meant to raise awareness about the lack of understanding around mental health. Trouble is, these stories can be a bit too close to home sometimes. I remember years ago (I haven't watched it since 2005/2006 ish) there was a self harm story and another one where someone OD'd that I found triggering so I do know how upsetting it can be. I guess it's something that we learn to deal with, I wouldn't want the media to avoid these issues to avoid triggering people but maybe a warning would have been good ::-\: .

It's good that you are coping better today. Maybe you can just keep chatting to your PA but explain that you don't want any intervention but just a chat incase things do get bad without you realising it? There's no harm in that, lots of people talk to friends etc about their feelings but it doesn't mean they're not independent but they're being responsible.  When is the next time you see anyone?
RIP Columbus :bunny: :1027:
August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #212 on: August 12, 2018, 07:29:32 PM »
I find the pa a bit invasive when she asks questions. I keep deflecting her with I'm fine, but then she goes around it and asks more questions. I do have a different pa that I trust a bit more and am more willing to talk to. I can find storylines quite triggering at times.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #213 on: August 14, 2018, 09:04:42 PM »
The,important thing is that you talk to someone, it's wise to have others aware of things. It's hard isn't it?
RIP Columbus :bunny: :1027:
August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #214 on: August 14, 2018, 09:27:53 PM »
It is hard. I am still struggling but not as much. I just either want to drink alcohol or sleep to block out my pointless life. I am forever distracting but not really living. I wish I could enjoy stuff. I wish I could join In with my groups to give me more purpose and structure. I struggle to motivate myself to give myself structure and routine. Tonight I am drinking because I cannot sleep. I slept poorly last night.

On the bright side I did meet with a man. He was nice.to me and we had a lovely time. Hope to see him again.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #215 on: August 15, 2018, 07:06:00 PM »
I hope that you slept better.

Motivation is difficult, it can become a cycle where the less you do the less you want to do so the less you do ad infinitum. I wish there was an easy answer to this  :hug2:.
Was this man someone you know or did you meet online? Are you hoping for friendship or romance or will you just see how it goes? It's good that you're socialising more, I know it's something you struggle with.
RIP Columbus :bunny: :1027:
August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #216 on: August 15, 2018, 07:47:59 PM »
I didn't but then I fall asleep during the day which doesn't help with sleeping at night. I struggle getting up.

I am doing better than last week which surprises me. I still just want to drink alcohol or sleep. I prefer my life in dream form. My real life sucks. I have been wondering if I have slipped back into depression! The nothingness, the wanting to escape life, the bad thoughts. I was even researching suicide last week. I am not doing that this week but still feel like life is pointless.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #217 on: August 16, 2018, 08:07:57 PM »
I've felt like dream life is better too (and often downright bizzare!) so I get where you're coming from. I know it feels crappy. I'm glad that you're not researching suicide now :hug1:
RIP Columbus :bunny: :1027:
August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #218 on: August 16, 2018, 08:31:33 PM »
All I want to do is sleep or drink alcohol. I also found that eating helps me. I am trying escape life. I took some zopiclone last night and even though it took a while to get to sleep I didn't wake up as often so slept better. I had a nap this afternoon and fell asleep for a couple of hours. I will probably struggle sleeping tonight and I am at work tomorrow. Life just seems so pointless. If I could sleep all day I would. I don't know how to change it. I spend more time alone now. I did olmanage a couple of 300 piece jigsaws. But I only own 2. I am thinking of buying more to keep me occupied and distracted. But I have to be careful with money. I feel like I am waiting for nothing. Just drifting through without really living. I wish I connected better with people.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline hidden tears

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #219 on: August 16, 2018, 11:17:13 PM »
Some places have jigsaw libraries, or charity shops can be great for cheap jigsaws.

Ive becomes me a little bit addicted to them this year....I just find them a good escape and quite therapeutic.
*I lock away the pain and put away my fears, show you only my smiles and not my hidden tears *

*I like walking in the rain because no one knows Im crying*

Behind the mask....a silent scream....a hidden tear