Author Topic: Mood starting to go other way.  (Read 2982 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #200 on: August 08, 2018, 07:38:37 PM »
I buy my hay from b and m for 3.49 a bag. Cheapest I found so far. I did buy my food from Amazon but I have found it cheaper where I get my woodshavings from. I am already on a cheap phone SIM only contract. I have found a cheaper broadband supplier. I may to try and shop at different times of the day to see if I can get cheaper veg. It's all stressing me out and all I want to do is either get drunk or sleep so I can aescape it all. I am also struggling to structure my empty time. I am finding it hard being on my own and doing nothing. Another friend also isn't talking to me. He said he wanted a relationship with me. I turned him down. He hasn't responded or replied to me since. I also think he has blocked me on messenger! I feel like shouting at him to grow up! I still wanted to be his friend!
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Lauren

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #201 on: August 08, 2018, 08:11:46 PM »
Could you use your empty time to craft or make something you could sell to make some extra pennies?
:13328:
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be... I make no apologies, THIS IS ME.

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #202 on: August 09, 2018, 06:53:49 PM »
Maybe that guy is just upset and will be OK with it in a few days? If not then that's his problem. It's frustrating when people act like childish idiots.

It can be difficult filling time when you live alone. I'm currently building some things for my rabbits to play in, could you do anything like that for your rabbit and guineas? Not necessarily a big project like I'm doing but could you make some toys for them perhaps? Even if it's something simple like a loo roll tube filled with hay and treats or a cool looking hiding place made out of cardboard boxes? Maybe thread some popcorn on a string and hang it somewhere so that they can have fun trying to get it?
Just spending time with them helps too, I even talk to mine (everyone does it!) and they don't talk back :).
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #203 on: August 09, 2018, 07:45:21 PM »
I did find it good last night just watching my guinea pigs. They were so cute. My friend has encouraged me to do something so over 2 days I have done a jigsaw. It is only a small jigsaw but it's the first one I have done since being on this medication.

I have been having bad thoughts in my quiet time today and was looking up suicide stuff again.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #204 on: August 10, 2018, 12:30:07 PM »
Animals are lovely company aren't they? :) They often make me feel better.
I'm glad you've managed a jigsaw, they can be a good distraction, as long as your house rabbit doesn't jump up on the coffee table, throw the pieces around and chew/poop on the puzzle mat.. ::)

Do you think you'll act on your thoughts?
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #205 on: August 10, 2018, 05:30:15 PM »
I was ok once I started to distract. I am not at the stage of acting on thoughts yet. It's just creeping up on me. I am just thinking how nice it would be if I was dead. Nobody would miss me that much. I feel more like a duty than a family member. I wouldn't be a burden anymore. Thing is this time I still wanted it and I didn't care about work and not being there short notice. I don't have current plans I am just fantasising about it. Thinking it would be nice to be gone. All I want to do at the moment is either get drunk or sleep. I am struggling to sleep more than usual past few days. Been taking me over an hour to drop off, and waking 5-6 times in the night. Just don't tell my pa, she already wants to contact my cpn and I don't think I am as bad as that yet. It is still under control at the moment. Must enjoy the sunshine and long days whilst I can. Before the dark, damp, cold winter sets in.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #206 on: August 11, 2018, 12:16:46 PM »
It's a good idea to keep your CPN informed, it may not be that bad now but it's a good idea for her to keep an eye on things just in case it does get bad. Why don't you want your CPN to know?

I think many people fantasise about dying, the eternal peace is appealing. Perhaps it's the comfort of knowing that this isn't forever and there is a way out. I understand it.  :hug2:
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #207 on: August 11, 2018, 05:20:19 PM »
I see the cpn at the end of this month. She wants me.to be more independent so I am trying to do this on my own. Also these thoughts are mine at the moment, I want to see where they lead. I don't want to risk my choices being taken away from me. At the moment it is my choice, nobody knows so I have the power and control. I am also thinking about stopping my meds. I know I shouldn't but they dull my emotions, flatten my creative thinking, make me slow and tired. I just want me to be back again. I want to actually live a life. The zombie scene is getting boring now.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online Tucan

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #208 on: August 12, 2018, 05:54:01 PM »
Was a bit triggered by last night's casualty.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Vermilion

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Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Reply #209 on: August 12, 2018, 06:32:20 PM »
Independence is a good thing but even mentally well people need help sometimes so it's OK to ask for help if you need to . I think that a part of being independent is knowing when to ask for help rather than you getting so bad that someone has to force you to get help.

What happened in Casualty?
RIP my beautiful Columbus, you're at peace now. :bunny: :1027:

August 22nd 2018