Author Topic: Messed up meds 2  (Read 1713 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #180 on: April 13, 2018, 06:26:00 PM »
Thank you. I was starting to get worried yesterday as after the appointment my thoughts started to go fast and I had endless interesting chatter in my head I wanted to share with people. Today I have been a little quieter. They are worried I may go high though and I am on the lookout for it. Although I do enjoy being high. Mostly. My memories are skewed. I did struggle a bit at work and did some stupid stuff and couldn't slow down or settle. Maybe going high isn't a good thing.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #181 on: April 13, 2018, 11:14:38 PM »
Hey Tucan

I have schizoaffective disorder, so not quite the same as bipolar but similar in the extremes of mood. I know the times Iíve been manic always start of great. I love the energy and enthusiasm and I feel like the most amazing person ever. I also feel like everyone else must love me being this way because Iím (in my mind) loads of fun. However I donít stay that way, and eventually I get so high I end up not recognising my own thoughts which makes me feel frightened, I get paranoid and irrational. I actually get less stuff done because I canít stick to one thing long enough to finish anything. I also get really impulsive, which together with being irrational is a really dangerous thing. I know that 2 years ago I took a massive amount of pills which I was convinced was going to help me communicate with a god of some sort and make me be able to fly. It sounds ridiculous now but I was so convinced it was fact. I just ended up very unwell of course. Plus other people have told me they donít find me fun when Iím high, they actually find me exhausting, confusing and they worry a lot about what I could do.

I donít know if you are like that when you are high, so sorry for bleating on if itís all irrelevant. I understand that desire to let yourself get high, because initially I find it really exciting, so it can be tempting to let it happen. It helps me to remind myself of all the negatives, like the ones I put above. Life when youíre stable can feel really mundane and boring, but even that has got to be better than the rubbish that comes with that initial high? Thatís what I find anyway, and what I always have to remind myself.

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Offline Rob

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #182 on: April 14, 2018, 09:40:18 AM »
+1

Hey Tucan

I know that 2 years ago I took a massive amount of pills which I was convinced was going to help me communicate with a god of some sort and make me be able to fly. 

I remember that period - it was extremely worrying.
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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #183 on: April 14, 2018, 05:41:32 PM »
I know I was contemplating an od whilst high once in an attempt to slow down but I didn't go through with it. I annoyed everyone at work with being hyper. It was just nice to feel great once in a while. I did scare myself once when high because I was going that fast I couldn't work out the order in which o put my clothes on and kept getting it wrong. I guess being high isn't all that good but it does feel nice to feel good for once though.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #184 on: April 16, 2018, 09:57:55 PM »
I have started to drink more alcohol. I am not sure what it means.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Terri

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #185 on: April 16, 2018, 11:13:11 PM »
Are you still drinking now? Do you think you could go to bed and get some rest?


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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #186 on: April 17, 2018, 12:39:14 AM »
I just lay on the sofa for a bit. I am going to bed now. I am still waking up during the night.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Terri

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #187 on: April 17, 2018, 06:34:03 AM »
I hope you got some sleep.  :hug1:


You are defo an orsem superstar-ess  :1025:



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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #188 on: April 17, 2018, 09:25:55 AM »
I did get some sleep. Woke up a few times but that's normal for me since I got ill in January.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Vermilion

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #189 on: April 17, 2018, 10:01:47 AM »
Sometimes we use alcohol to deal with difficult things, it's quite common. Some people, like me, use it to self destruct. If you do it too often though you could get unwell again so try to keep it under control. It can also interfere with meds as well. How are the racing thoughts? Any better?
 
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