Author Topic: Messed up meds 2  (Read 1714 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #160 on: April 04, 2018, 03:53:08 PM »
I hope she stays this way once the student nurse has gone.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #161 on: April 05, 2018, 11:49:11 AM »
Just had a phone call from my pysch. I ordered more meds but he didn't know I had reduced the lurasidone so he called me to query it. Now I feel guilty as it was done when he wasn't there.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Vermilion

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #162 on: April 05, 2018, 04:47:34 PM »
Good to hear that your CPN was nice again, perhaps she was having an off day when she was rude.

It sounds like an informal chat with work could be helpful. What adjustments would help?

I don't think that you need to feel guilty about the Lurasidone. You discussed it with your CPN (If I'm remembering right) and she should have informed him,  that's what CPNs are for. I think it's good that you have a psych who double checks things to be certain.
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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #163 on: April 05, 2018, 05:33:03 PM »
I did check with the cpn at the time and she spoke with another of the pyschs there as mine was off. They agreed to halve my medication to see if it helps me at work. I guess I will have to talk to my regular pysch about it next week when I see him next. I told the cpn about the sh and she was ok with it. It's just frustrating that I went through some bad suicidal patches without sh and then my work says one bad thing about me and I start again after 18-24 months being clear of it. I have managed not to sh since Sunday. Though I do think I am at risk tonight as I am bored and lonely, don't know what to do with myself, having a bath tonight and got work tomorrow. I am still unsettled about work and worried I am no good enough. That is a trigger for me. I am tempted to go for a walk as it is nice and sunny but I don't have the energy or will for it. It does look nice out of my window though. What I want is company from a friend that isn't going to be hard work. However my friend doesn't want to see me and another friend lives 15 miles away and doesn't have parking at his. I did think about going back to kayaking today but I am a bit late now, plus I don't really know the people there and it's hard to go back after taking so long off. My cpn wants me to go back soon as the weather is picking up and it should be warm enough in a few weeks time. I feel stupid there as I am a slow paddler and lag behind the group. The other slow people stopped going.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #164 on: April 06, 2018, 07:08:17 PM »
I did end up hurting myself last night. I have had a sore leg all day which has been distracting me. I have been a little distracted at work today. I done sort of alright but felt like my manager was on my case a lot. I just wasn't seeing the urgency of stuff. I also had a bad dream last night where people kept rejecting me and refused to be with me. I have been really sensitive to rejection today as a result and have felt like I been left out today.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Offline Rob

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #165 on: April 07, 2018, 04:50:12 PM »
How has today been - has it been better than yesterday?
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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #166 on: April 07, 2018, 05:57:37 PM »
Yes it has thank you. I have felt more included today and involved. I came up with some jobs of my own which was good. My leg hasn't been sore. I don't feel as much of a need to sh so that's good. I may manage a bath without the sh.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Offline Vermilion

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #167 on: April 07, 2018, 06:55:47 PM »
Good to hear that today was better for you and that you don't need to SH. :). Do you have a routine at work? I'm very forgetful and I used to have a certain order to do tasks and I used to write a list of tasks to do. Is that possible where you work? Perhaps feed certain animals at set times. Or could you go to work a little earlier and write a list of jobs first thing? Routines/plans help me so it might be worth a go?

Don't feel stupid at kayaking, the only way you'd get better is by continuing. I do understand where you're coming from though, I'm crap at all sports. Is there something else you could do?
Frankly Autocorrect, I'm rather sick of your bull shirt.

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #168 on: April 07, 2018, 07:45:40 PM »
I think about going back to kayaking but then when it comes round I don't go. I was improving at a steady rate when I went regularly before Christmas. After Christmas I got ill and just couldn't face it in the dark. I was sick of the dark. Now it is getting lighter I should really return. Because it has been months since I last been I am finding it hard to go back there.

I have a morning routine at work and a closing routine. Everything else changes on the day and it can be quite hard to think of jobs to keep people busy. I did end up self harming but I didn't do much. I did less than normal so it wasn't too bad. I just needed a reminder for myself tomorrow to stay good. I been talking to my friend and I told her she should have let me die in January. She doesn't see me so why did she want me to stick around? I am just feeling lonely and abandoned as nobody comes to visit me. Very few people bother to text me unless I text them first. I am just feeling sorry for myself for being such hard work and a not good enough friend.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'

Online Tucan

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Re: Messed up meds 2
« Reply #169 on: April 11, 2018, 03:07:15 PM »
I am seeing the pysch tomorrow. I am a little anxious about this as a lot has happened since the last time I seen him 4 months ago. I m not sure what to say. Guess I have to explain why my meds are reduced. I have started self harming again but I am not always sure why. I don't feel anything emotionally still and this worries me. I want to feel things. We had 2 animals put to sleep at the weekend and I had zero emotional response even though I cared for the animals. The only thing I have really been feeling is stress over work. I struggle to think of myself as not good enough.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'