Author Topic: dealing with my bf self-harming and bpd  (Read 194 times)

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Offline redsocks1

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dealing with my bf self-harming and bpd
« on: February 28, 2018, 02:54:04 PM »
Hi! I've just joined this forum because of one of the leaflets my boyfriend received from his counselor. Little did I know, I'd end up using it and not him. We've recently gotten back together after 6 months of being broken up, and it's still hard to know where we stand. I found out he started self harming again in the time we were apart and he agreed to see someone about it and asked me to go with. Unfortunately, he was told that the issue might be even more serious and that it sounds like he might be bipolar but we needed a GP appointment for further information. Of course, everything was booked for the next month or so and he gave up on trying. Again. He has days when he is completely numb and it makes me feel like I have done something bad, although I know it's not my fault. It's hard caring so much about someone but not receiving the same feelings back because of his own mental health issues. I suffer from anxiety as well and I've just realized how his behaviour reflects on mine-if he's going through a rough time, i start overthinking and i get anxious and end up crying and panicking for no reason whatsoever. It is hard because before we broke up we were each others pillars and he'd be there for me when I needed help and viceversa. Now, because he is in such a bad place, he can't offer it back and sometimes even makes it into a joke. I understand he can't deal with his own emotions, let alone mine, especially since he is aware of how much I love him and I want him to be happy. I can see he feels guilty.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is this...

1) What should I do/How should I react in case I see new cuts? Should I talk to him about it, ignore it?
2) How can I convince him to try and see a GP again without being too pushy?
3) For people that have gone through this, what did you find useful when you were at an all time low/ your partner was at an all time low? I come from a country where mental health is not talked about and I'm at such a loss when it comes to any ideas. What can I do for him?
4) I care about him deeply and I know he cares about me as well, it's just that it's hard for him to express that. A little advice on how to hold on and look at things in a more positive way is more than welcome. Please, share your own stories either bad or good and teach me what I so deeply want to learn: how to take care of my loved one.

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Re: dealing with my bf self-harming and bpd
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2018, 06:01:27 PM »
It's best to talk about the thoughts and feelings behind the self harm.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were deceivers ever'