Author Topic: **trig** Just a rant I think.  (Read 1224 times)

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Offline Blamie

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**trig** Just a rant I think.
« on: May 09, 2014, 09:23:18 PM »
 :trig:

I haven't been here in a long time, however i've come to feel like this place is a kind of safe haven for me when I'm struggling. Even the colours make me feel a little calmer. I feel selfish but I think I need some help or guidance.
I havn't SH'd in a year and five months. Recently though it's back in my thoughts, constantly. I'm constantly anxious. I'm addicted to an extreme anti psychotic that I feel is slowly killing me. I went back to the docs to try to come off the pills but he said the GP can't give me anything that will touch what my tablets are doing. I've previously tried to quit but the withdrawals were horrific. I couldn't go 2 whole days without it. So the doctor wanted to put me back in the system, to go see a psychiatrist I think. That was about 4 weeks ago. My anxiety is strangling me. I'm slipping back to the dark place I was, which scares the heck out of me. But, jeez all i want so bad is to SH just to give myself a bit of peace. It's been long enough since i've done it that I can only remember that feeling,intoxicating gah. I'm scared. The only reason I havnt done it is because i'll let down my SO. I'm so glad I havnt but i'm so close. Got tools n stuff. Blah. Sorry.
Think I needed to write that down. I wanted to post it here because I honestly am like surviving. But the last few months I've been regressing.
Thankyou

Offline Hash

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Re: **trig** Just a rant I think.
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2014, 09:14:29 PM »
Hey Blamie,

I am sorry you really really want to self harm, I realise this was posted quite a while ago and you may have harmed by now but I hope not.

Well done for going to the doctors, can you go back and ask for something for the anxiety to stop you harming and keep you safe, I take something that I can use as PRN (as needed) and it works magic.

I am sorry you are feeling the antipsychotic is not working so well for you and your body, what makes you think that it is killing you.

Hash

Offline Blamie

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Re: **trig** Just a rant I think.
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2014, 08:02:37 PM »
Hey thanks so much for the reply. I didn't actually do anything which I guess shows the meds n stuff is working. Its hard to describe about the meds, its seroquel so I'm not sure if its doing more harm than good but in this case...
I went back to the docs who sent a letter to a psychiatrist, its been a month since then but ill ho and see what the deal is. Thankyou again