Author Topic: I don't want these scars to fade. *Trig SH*  (Read 2363 times)

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Offline needtostop

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I don't want these scars to fade. *Trig SH*
« on: April 22, 2012, 08:27:46 PM »
I don't want my scars to fade???
Does that make any sense to anyone?
The things that have led me to SH are now reaching the first anniversary.
I don't want to forget anything - seeing the scars on my leg is a reminder of the bad times i have been through and i don't want them to disappear.
Can anyone relate to this, even if i say i still cut now to keep them visible?
« Last Edit: April 22, 2012, 09:46:52 PM by Gerard »

Offline findingmyway

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2012, 08:35:22 PM »
Yea I can really relate to this :hug1:

I often find that urges to cut just increase as the scars heal and begin to fade - I guess its the need to have that wound, the pain?

I wish I had some useful advice but wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling this way xxx
Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it.
Please, all keep as safe as you can.

I will be thinking of you xxxxx :hug1: :hug

Offline Terrier

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2012, 08:37:09 PM »
Probably not the same but I sometimes cut just so there is some physical sign of what I feel. Otherwise how does anyone know I'm struggling?
Maybe Tomorrow.......

Offline needtostop

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2012, 08:46:08 PM »
Thanks for your reply xxx
Its not really the pain that i need to feel anymore - its more the visual side of self harm.
I still can't make sense of everything that has happened over the past 12 months - but seeing physical marks that tells me this is what i felt, this is how I feel - i don't ever want to lose that and don't think i could ever lose that.

Offline Broken Wings

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2012, 08:50:56 PM »
Hi hun,just wanted you to know your not alone my scars are my battle wounds they show the fight i've had and are still having,scars fade with time but the memories live on,if you can try not to hurt yourself take care  :hug1: :hug2: xx
Sometimes we don't need advice
We just need someone to listen

Offline needtostop

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2012, 09:01:17 PM »
I have the memories and i will never forget what has happened - but i need something visual.
Something that i can look at and know that i had control of
THe things that happened, well it makes me regret giving someone so much of my life - what a fool i was, so very very naive.

Offline Broken Wings

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2012, 09:05:00 PM »
I totally understand the visual need my scars even though some are old and faded i have a viusal map in my head of where,when and why they happened sorry if thats no help  :hug1: :hug2: xxx
Sometimes we don't need advice
We just need someone to listen

Offline needtostop

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2012, 09:28:09 PM »
Ms Boots - what you said does help.
Just think i'm frightened of forgetting anything.
I've had to make massive decisions & can't forget the reasons why.

Offline Broken Wings

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2012, 09:31:29 PM »
Would it help you to write down these decsions and reasons,lock them in a box that way you'll know where they are and can refer to them if you need/want to,take care  :hug1: :hug2: xx
Sometimes we don't need advice
We just need someone to listen

Offline needtostop

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Re: I don't want these scars to fade.
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2012, 09:42:16 PM »
Everything thats happened is logged. I can read through it whenever i need to but its not enough. Its like the things that have happened, the decisions i've made, the feelings i have felt - need justifying in some other wa i amy,
And for me, that has come out by SH (cutting) - i don't really understand it at all.
The age i am ???? crazy.