Thank you for all your kind words,feeling really detached today,in answer to your question Bluebell too long,don't really feel any better,still really low,yet feeling more comfortable with that low feeling (if that makes sense),have talked to M i had to,was out the whole day yesterday what with local a+e then up to chelsea & westminster,didn't get home till after 11pm,she knows there is a b**n and i got treated and have to back tuesday,just not that it was self inflicted i couldn't tell her that,she's only 16 and still my baby,it's good to know i'm not alone in what i do,but a wise person said to me yesterday that sh is sh whatever you do,the reasoning behind it is still the same,feelings,thoughts etc are the same,it's just the method that is different,so even though i felt alone in the way i sh i'm not,not really

xx