Author Topic: The three C's, for when someone you care about self-harms  (Read 36486 times)

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Offline bouncykaz

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Re: The three C's, for when someone you care about self-harms
« Reply #30 on: September 28, 2015, 09:56:07 PM »
" really, I don't think there is any support out there for carers in our situation"

sadly i have to agree with this.
 A positive note what helps ... As a mum of a s'hing teenage girl.
1. Through sites like this you are not alone.
2. However hard it is try to accept that you didn't cause it and you cant stop it but you can help to change it but just being there and being supportive, calm and non judgemental.
3. Accepting that they will do it so don't take their tools away, try to come to an understanding about both making sure tools and cuts are clean and 'safe'
4. Dont beat yourself up if you have the occasional breakdown!
5. Keep trying to keep lines of communication open no matter how many times you get knocked back, sometimes you are only being pushed away to see if you are strong enough to carry them and yourself through a period where they are struggling to cope.
6. Dont be afraid of carrying on as normal, difficult sometimes i know but your child will not want this to dominate everything either.
7. Find a place where your child can go where you know they will be safe, a family or friend perhaps and give yourself a break every now and again so you can recharge and be stronger for longer.
8. Remember as a parent we know our children, be strong with others who offer help but make rash judgements after spending little time with your child. They may be professionals but you know your child and your the one dealing with ig 24/7.
9. Shout, shout and shout again, you will need to to get any help! :(
10. Love them, be strong for them and just keep going you are probably doing better than you think!!

hope this helps at least one person.

I know this was written a while ago, but it was so helpful, I left work today after a mini meltdown and really needed to find a way to help myself, I guess I was feeling resentful as so much of my time goes in to my daughter and her self harm and then I felt guilty. I know these realities but sometimes you just need another person with similar experiences to make you remember how to cope. thank you  :)

Offline Barry J

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Re: The three C's, for when someone you care about self-harms
« Reply #31 on: November 17, 2015, 01:32:38 PM »
Thank you , I'm a grandfather of a 11 year old boy who has started and I'm so out of my depth but the 3 C's has helped.. Thank you!!!

Offline mmej

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Re: The three C's, for when someone you care about self-harms
« Reply #32 on: July 18, 2018, 08:01:49 PM »
I have written this down and look at it everyday. It helps me stay strong.