Recent Posts

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91
Survivor Room / Re: Acts of self kindness
« Last post by Skye on April 29, 2019, 12:06:14 PM »
Your bullet journal sounds beautiful!
92
Survivor Room / Re: What are you grateful for today?
« Last post by Skye on April 29, 2019, 12:05:42 PM »
Quiet time
A garden
My dog
93
Survivor Room / Re: What are you grateful for today?
« Last post by Tigger on April 29, 2019, 11:55:50 AM »
I am grateful for my dog who stops me feeling to lonely  :dog41:

I am grateful for my horse which gives me purpose

I am grateful for doing a job I love and continue to challenge me which I need to remember when I start to get stressed at work
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Survivor Room / Re: Acts of self kindness
« Last post by Tigger on April 29, 2019, 11:52:32 AM »
I have terrible Insomnia and i was told to have a whole bedtime routine including a bubble bath etc. I live in Australia so all I ended up feeling was either very hot or if I tried to cool the water down it was too cold I couldn't seem to find a middle ground so that was a fail  :doh:

I have a bullet Journal with moods and gratitude etc in but I decorated in pretty colours and stickers etc. It's relaxing but it keeps my hands busy and is practical so it doesn't feel like a waste of time.
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Survivor Room / Re: A fraud if I don't harm enough?
« Last post by sniper on April 28, 2019, 08:51:10 PM »
I have found that if I don't SH for a substantial amount of time, they write the words " In Remission "! So not true, but they choose to see what they want.

I've always known that SH for me, is just around the corner. Yes, I fight it but, when it doesn't happen for a while, they say I'm doing so well.

I feel almost "dismissed" when this happens.
96
Survivor Room / Re: A fraud if I don't harm enough?
« Last post by yrangelion on April 28, 2019, 04:15:13 PM »
I get this, it doesn't help that my CPN blames me for SH but then when I don't do it, she treats me as cured.
I wish I had helpful words for you...just know that you are not alone.  :hug2: I don't think I have been very helpful sorry, but if you want to chat to someone who understands I am here x
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Survivor Room / Re: A fraud if I don't harm enough?
« Last post by Rob on April 28, 2019, 04:13:29 PM »
Because issues don't manifest themselves as SH doesn't mean that they're not existent anymore, nor less important. Being able to control your SH is good, but unless your underlying causes have been sorted out, you wouldn't be able to just return to employment without it all starting up again. In a way, it shows that reducing some of the pressures on you has been the right thing to do - hence your ESA/PIP is valid.

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Survivor Room / Re: What are you grateful for today?
« Last post by Vermilion on April 28, 2019, 03:46:31 PM »
Dexter  :bunny:.
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Survivor Room / A fraud if I don't harm enough?
« Last post by Vermilion on April 28, 2019, 03:45:35 PM »
I feel like I need to justify the fact that I'm on ESA/PIP and like if I don't SH for a while then maybe I'm not that unwell. I feel the same if I'm at a psych appt of some kind and it's been a while since I harmed I feel guilty for taking up their time.

I've never actually harmed for this reason but the guilt is there if I don't SH for a while.

Anyone else? Or does someone at least understand?
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Survivor Room / Re: Self harm and you - your stories. Part 2 *posts may trigger*
« Last post by kiraziyal on April 28, 2019, 03:17:18 PM »
:trig: maybe somewhere, probably - just in case.

I started SH when I was either 23 or 24 in 2003 / 2004.  I'm 38 now.  It was at it's worst when I first started so 15 or 16 years ago.  It was just cutting my upper left arm.  I didn't realise it at the time and, I've never actually said this to anyone (so apologies for dumping it on everyone here), but I think it's because I'm bisexual.  I've only recently admitted it to myself.  I always just thought the SH happened was because I had no confidence or wasn't enjoying my job or university or whatever.  There were lots of cuts on my arm but I always covered them up.

Then the SH happened again in 2009 and again just last month.  Both of these last two occasions have only been one cut each time.  Having this time frame has made me realise the one thing which was there in all 3.  There was someone I liked (a different person each time) and I could never tell them.  Mind you, I shouldn't be surprised, I don't tend to tell anyone anything.

But I told one of my lecturers about the SH last month (also the relevant person mentioned above in the last paragraph). 

There's probably a lot more to this but I'm being my usual self in thinking I shouldn't be wasting people's time so don't bother in case they are too polite to tell me to shut up or go away.  Ramble over.
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