Recent Posts

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Here and Now Room / Re: Advice on talking to others
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 08:23:44 PM »
Is there something going on in your life at the moment that could be making things difficult for you?
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Here and Now Room / Re: Advice on talking to others
« Last post by Daisyduke74 on Yesterday at 07:32:27 PM »
i probably wouldn't have come on here had I not said anything the other day. I don't feel bad about saying what I did as I don't seem to be too bothered about it. The thing that puzzles me is whether anything would likely change. It doesn't look like it as I believe I can trust this other person but time will tell.
I'm so tired at the moment, sleep so well at night but feel so tired at work. Don't always really know how I feel as I think i've mastered the art of putting my "game face" on when at work and dodging the usual did you have a good weekend kind a questions. I don't really have any friends that I meet up with so don't get out that much which will partly be why i've nobody to talk to. Then feel like a failure and that people know i'm a failure, boring and ugly so to be avoided.
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Here and Now Room / Re: Advice on talking to others
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 06:32:34 PM »
It takes a long time to overcome something like this. It can happen with the right support and people in your life helping you. I don't know what support would be good for you as I do not know you or your situation. I have had various support in the past some has helped me more than others. I largely no longer self harm, but that doesn't mean I don't have issues or haven't slipped up. I am more likely to talk to people now even if it is really difficult. Everyone is different. The main thing is to not give yourself a hard time Bout it. That can make things more difficult for you. Keep talking on here.
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Here and Now Room / Re: Advice on talking to others
« Last post by Daisyduke74 on Yesterday at 06:21:57 PM »
I've not spoken to a GP or anyone else about it. I guess i've just got an image of being locked up or given meds for the SH, but by the same token appreciate that such views aren't necessarily likely. I didn't intend on telling this other person about my SH as I tend not to talk about my personal views at all (especially about how I feel) so no idea what made me do it. I'm usually very private and generally not very good at communicating in a personal manner (alright at work, but when it comes to social I find I really struggle and get ridiculously nervous and just clam up).
I did see a councillor about my social nervousness and fear of social occasions but never felt like I got anything out of it so feel I have a view it would be similar if I opened up about SH.
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Here and Now Room / Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 06:13:49 PM »
If I ever manage to make it to being well I would love to foster guinea pigs for a rehoming charity. I would also love to be able to run a guinea pig breeding stud and pass on my love and knowledge of guineas to others and enrich their lives with these little creatures. I have passed on knowledge before partly by breeding in the past and have helped new owners with their pets. I want to be able to get back to that. I also want a child but I don't think that is going to happen either.
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Here and Now Room / Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 06:10:56 PM »
Nope not heard anything back.from my pip yet. The only problem will be paying for the petrol to do these activities. It was a positive meeting and I do still need the support even if I am doing well. they accepted that without the support I will just spend all my time in bed. They want to help liase with work and make sure I am ok there. They have concerns about me increasing my hours there and the possible negative effects it could have on my mental health. I was looking forward to a more normal life and taking on more responsibility. They also said if I get really ill I may have to get rid of all my pets which upset me and said that's an incentive to keep doing things. Apparently at times I also make unwise decisions. Cheers for that. DOH. I am sick of being a patient, sick of needing help and support, sick of not being able to work full time, sick of not being able to take care of myself and my animals without support. I used to have the same wish when I was a kid, and that was to be happy.
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Here and Now Room / Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 06:02:20 PM »
I am sorry that things are so difficult for you. That really sucks. But you are still managing stuff. That is pretty amazing. My cpn says when I am down I need to balance the negative with some positive that is happening in my life. I know that is difficult but if it helps even just a little bit then it could be worth it.
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Here and Now Room / Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Last post by Vermilion on Yesterday at 05:53:50 PM »
You're not stupid, just struggling  :hug2:. Have you started taking your meds properly again?

For some reason our brains only focus on the negative stuff and forgets the good stuff. I'm guilty of this myself, I think we all are. You do put in a huge effort;

- You go to work
- You keep your own place going
-You look after your guineas
-You put yourself out there to try and socialise
- You know when to ask for help

All while battling a serious MH problem. I know it's difficult for you though, it's a horrible place to be when your brain is like that.  :hug1: :hug2:
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Here and Now Room / Re: Mood starting to go other way.
« Last post by Vermilion on Yesterday at 05:43:39 PM »
Sounds positive for you  :emot-thumbsup11:. I'm glad they're not reducing your support because you do still need it. It'll be nice for you to take up horseradish again, you used to really enjoy that. It looks like they're trying to help with the funding until PIP gets sorted out, have you heard about P IP yet? I know that you sent your MRC off a while ago.
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Here and Now Room / Re: More of the same... (trigs, SH, Sui)
« Last post by terrified heart on Yesterday at 05:39:55 PM »
I keep it together in public, but when my CPN and support worker ask me whatís in my head it all spills out. Iíve just sat with them both and cried for an hour over how my brain is full of suicide stuff. Iím tired (emotionally) and Iím trapped in this nightmare where I feel bombarded with all the reasons why I should kill myself, all the things Iím rubbish at, all my failures.

Iíve messed up with taking my meds. And please donít say Iíve been stupid. I already know Iím stupid. Itís just so hard to take them. Something stops me sometimes and I donít have the energy to fight all this stuff with my own brain.

I wish I could be put into a coma for a few weeks to let my brain rest and reset itself
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