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NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: justine on July 04, 2019, 01:10:16 PM

Title: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 04, 2019, 01:10:16 PM
I've decided this morning to quit smoking. It makes me really tired. Its bad for my reflux. Bad for health. And in the past few days I've noticed it gives me anxiety every time I smoke. It's just doing me no good. So I'm here as a place to vent when I want to smoke.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Tucan on July 04, 2019, 01:32:36 PM
That sounds really positive. Good luck quitting. I hope you are successful.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Vermilion on July 04, 2019, 01:40:06 PM
I quit smoking about 3.5 years ago and it's the best thing I've ever done! What are you using to help? I found vaping worked really well for me, it's the only thing that I've been successful with.
Good luck! :)
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 05, 2019, 06:11:49 PM
 Hi guys. Thanks for the support. I tried vaping for a while but I get addicted to that instead and its worse on my throat (ive got bad reflux). I just got in, I'm hot and tired. It took 2 hours to get home. Its sunny. I'm in bed. I want a fag soooo bad. Might well cave.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Rob on July 05, 2019, 06:45:33 PM
There are lots of different vaping liquids - go to a vaping shop and ask about the different ones available for people who have more sensitive throats. Some people find that they can drastically reduce the number of cigarettes they use with the help of a mild e-cig.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 05, 2019, 06:57:20 PM
Thanks for the suggestions :) problem is, when I vape, its excessive and constant.

Been distracting myself on a dating app, had a rest now. But still want to fall back into watching tv, playing on my phone and smoking. My will to quit is weakening. Gonna go cook some food and see how it goes.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Vermilion on July 05, 2019, 08:03:14 PM
With vaping there are lots of different options. You could go for a higher voltage battery which would give a bigger 'hit' and so you'd likely not need it as much and you could try stronger flavours. Plus, different liquids have different ingredients so they might not be as bad for your throat, I often found that I couldn't use certain types so I stuck with certain brands. There's also the option of a 0mg liquid so it doesn't matter how much you vape you won't feel ill or you could try a flavour that you don't like as much so you'll be less inclined to vape constantly.
I do understand the worry about vaping addiction but I found that as I reduced the nicotine I thought about it less and less over time; I started on 18 then went to 12, 8 and then 0. To be honest though, I figured that I'd rather be addicted to vaping than smoking, it's surely the best option. If you find things really difficult you could pop into a few vape shops and get some advice.

How are you doing with your cravings tonight? It's tough going isn't it.  :hug1: :hug2:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 05, 2019, 08:04:14 PM
I did listen and have found some 0.8% liquid in tescos online so will have that delivered tomorrow. I don't see how I can resist tonight. Eliquid is expensive tho. Maybe I'll have to have that as reason to rashion it and not use it constantly.

I don't know why I even want a fag. Think I'm gonna cave.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 05, 2019, 08:06:03 PM
Part of my personality is to be obsessive about things so the ecig becomes a comfort things constantly in my mouth.

Some good ideas about the vaping.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Vermilion on July 05, 2019, 08:50:12 PM
Smoking is a coping mechanism, if I was stressed or simply bored smoking was the cure. The key here is to find a better way to occupy yourself. I sometimes found it helpful to step outside and take really deep breaths and eating some mints can help too. :)

I get my eliquid 6 for £10 (10ml bottles) so try and shop around, the one from Tesco will do for now while you sort it properly :). Overall vaping is cheaper than smoking once you've bought the actual gadget!

I found that I was biting my ecig as much as vaping with it, I guess it's because we're used to putting fags in our mouths and the action keeps both our mouths and hands busy. Better than smoking though :). Honestly l, I found the nicotine easier to quit than the habit

I hope that you manage to get through tonight but if you cave you can always try again tomorrow.  :hug1: :hug2:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 06, 2019, 12:52:26 AM
Thanks. I smoked 2 which is still better than the 10 or so a day so I call that a win. I agree that its not nicotine as such but its the associations. Certain things I do which I associate with smoking. I have boiled sweets which I use.

The hardest time is when I'm home alone as I usually don't have energy to do a lot (working full time) so I watch tv and smoke. Watching tv alone is not enough, I need something else.

We'll see how tomorrow goes, and the weekend, as I'm home alone all weekend.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Terri on July 06, 2019, 12:53:56 AM
Two instead of ten is a definite win. Really well done. :hug2:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 06, 2019, 09:36:06 AM
Thanks :)

Not long been up and had a coffee in bed and want a fag now. Feel stronger against it than yesterday but might have one anyway. Seems like its an excuse to stay in bed. Or I could go play sims as a distraction. Just don't feel awake enough yet and would rather just have 1.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Vermilion on July 06, 2019, 05:50:51 PM
How did you get on this morning? I remember that first fag with my morning coffee was the hardest one to give up.

2is better than 10, it's good progress and you will get there. Maybe it'll be easier tomorrow when you can use your vaping stuff.

 :hug1: :hug2:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 06, 2019, 11:41:08 PM
Had 4 today in total. Avoided one before bed. Not ready to set the vape up yet.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Terri on July 06, 2019, 11:42:11 PM
Four is still better than ten. Well done, especially for avoiding one before bed. :)
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 07, 2019, 08:04:47 AM
I've really gotta stop, I'm just putting crap in my body. Plus it makes me reflux worse and its gonna end up causing damage. I'd rather have good foods than smoke. I think I'm only doing it cos its an addiction. I should focus on eating well instead of smoking.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 07, 2019, 09:32:47 AM
So I avoided smoking this morning when I woke up. Decided on a plan for tidying and batch cooking today. Decided to get moving at 9am. Sat looking through my phone for 10 minutes and decided to make a TikTok video with the trending pride hashtag. All these videos of people celebrating pride with their partners. I made a video with pics of all the girls I've liked over time and the 2 partners I've had. It feels depressing to be single today. I mean I'm on dating sites and not sure if I'm having luck or not. Depends how you look at it. Met 2 girls in 2 months. First didn't work out due to her mental health issues. 2nd I just met Friday. If it does work out with her its gonna be slow. We're just talking at the moment. Her view is shes out to make friends and if she meets a gf along the way then all the better. Doesnt feel too hopeful to me.

So now I wanna do harm to myself because I'm depressed at being single. And smoking is harm to me. Its a safe way of hurting myself (I've not sself harmed in a long time, I just do self destructive things like smoking instead).

So I'm gonna smoke. Sit in my depression. Then get up and blast this house (do housework).
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 07, 2019, 10:08:42 AM
I can see myself about to spiral down. This has happened loads of times but I've never spotted it this early before. I like someone. I start talking to them a lot. I start getting hopeful. That parts okay. Then I start to get obsessed (yay Autism, my obsessions can often be people...) and the spiral is that I start painting a mental picture of a future with them and it becomes an expectation. My emotions become reliant upon them. Happy when we're talking and things are going well. When we're not talking (they're busy) I obsessivly look at pictures, listen to songs on repeat. Generally obsess and get depressed. I do things in extremes in life, it's all or nothing. Which means I try to go at warp speed in relationships, which obviously causes unhappiness and is damaging to the relationship as I control it at first but then spiral and let my emotions get the better of me and message them too much and take my feelings out on them a little which is holding back hugely compared to how I feel. I don't know how to do things in moderation and feelings are hard to control but I don't help myself by allowing myself to do the obsessive things and my choice of music.

But as I say, I've never caught it this early before. It's hard because I want a relationship so badly that I'm at the point of frustration and almost desperation.

But because I've spotted it early I have a choice in what to do. Plus I'm also frustrated at myself and the desire to tidy this place and do the batch cook is strong.

Issue is, I have very very low self control. If I want something I can't stop myself giving in and doing it.

But I've still got a choice. So I'm going to get up (been awake and in bed for 2 hours) and do the housework. Think on what I've just said here and how some self control over this potential relationship and how I should act and not destroy the relationship.

Although I have low self control I'm also incredibly strong and capable of using that strength. The strength may be enough to overcome the lack of self control. Just got to keep my head in the right place.

Fag count today: 1

Getting up now.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: RichardL on July 07, 2019, 02:35:57 PM
Hi Justine. Your self-awareness is absolutely brilliant and will enable you to get where you want to be (I hope this doesn't sound patronising).  :happy020:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 07, 2019, 08:06:58 PM
Thanks Richard, I dont take it as patronising.

Fag count: 3

Just chosen to eat a lolly over smoking. Got a bag of lollies and boiled sweets and ice pops so hopefully that will cut down on the chain smoking.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Skye on July 07, 2019, 08:15:12 PM
Well done 👍 you have a great mindset!
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 08, 2019, 06:21:52 AM
Thanks for all the support :)

Woke up this morning and saw the fags on the side (bad move) having low acid coffee which is a mistske compared to costa as it tastes sh**. Feel like I'm trying to come up with reasons to smoke.

I can either get up and do my morning exercise routine or sit here and smoke.
My cat woke me at 4am and I only just got to sleep when my alarm went off. I feel tired. I've got work. I'm torn between being "good" aka exercising and being "bad" aka smoking.

Okay after much internal bargening I've decided to smoke. I've had 2,4,3 the past few days. Need to remember to keep the fags out of site. Feel like I had a bad morning today what with being woken up and feeling tired and having a late start to the day.

Will see how it goes through the day. Wont be taking the pack to work. Being realistic, will try to aim for 2 fags today, one now and one sometime after work.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Skye on July 08, 2019, 07:14:23 AM
Good luck ... having one to look forward to after work is a good plan. Disturbed sleep is not a good start to any day  :hug1:
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 09, 2019, 12:35:49 AM
Fag count: 1

My throat is swollen which puts me off smoking so not smoked again
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 10, 2019, 12:47:58 AM
Fag count: 1

Staying at a friends so its gonna be harder not to smoke. Throat still swelling tho so that may help.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 10, 2019, 09:23:17 PM
Smoke count about to be 6 today. Staying at a friends. Had 1 when I woke up. 1 after breakfast. I did have boiled sweets instead of chain smoking in the day. 1 before going out. 1 after dinner and 1 now as I'm watching tv and bored.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: justine on July 11, 2019, 07:32:12 AM
Woke up and had 1 fag. Feeling a bit down.

I've been smoking for 3 months. Its a habit. I might set a goal of quitting for 3 weeks, as that's the time it takes to create a habit. Focus on other things when I'm bored or down. Smoking as a way of harming myself when I'm down isnt good. I can listen to music or draw a picture of how im feeling. Temporary things. Smoking once because I'm down just reinforces the habit.
Title: Re: Quitting smoking now
Post by: Skye on July 11, 2019, 07:36:30 AM
A friend of mine gave up using Paul McKenna. Think she downloaded the book so she could just lie and listen to it. You could listen to it whilst doing your exercises or going for a walk? I donít know. Iím not terribly good with those sorts of things but she really rated it. Youíre doing well Justine, all steps in the right direction.