Much better now thanks icicle, but it took a while. Things came to a head a bit and I was on the ceiling but anxious. I think happy high is easier in so many ways but high and anxious is not. I had a few weeks off work and missed an exam for uni which meant I then got a bit buried with requests for meetings, paperwork and evidence. The whole thing was pretty pointless because now the migraine meds are the same, but the mood stabiliser is higher and more people know things than need to. I ended up in A&E because the I couldn't get hold of anyone to sort out meds etc and it got to the point I either went or did something. But this time was very different to any other time I've been. In reality it literally kept me safe because I was just waiting to be seen for 11hrs (after triage etc) and by the end of that they gave me a prescription said we could wait another 4 to see the mental health team. Although the time scale wasn't great it did what I needed it to and people had a really different attitude to previously. Overall it was pretty positive. I don't know if it was because I'd not done anything, because I wasn't on my own, because training has moved on in four years, because I someone else could explain how things have been or a combination of all of that - but the people were all nice. It feels weird to say it, but that hasn't ever been the case for me before, at least one person has always felt the need for a lecture or downright rudeness. I wasn't in a great place but it felt a lot like diagnosis plays a role in this.
I'm not in a great head space with diagnosis stuff at the moment. For a while I've been trying to work out if it is worth trying to sort out some private therapy or something for short while to see if it's useful. I don't feel OK asking the Psychiatrist about it, I saw an nhs therapist for about 6 years so I think I've more than exhausted my quota on that score. Work are supportive and will make it work rota wise. But I have to actually make a decision.