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Here and Now Room / Re: Canít keep up with my moods
« Last post by terrified heart on Today at 07:12:44 PM »
I donít want to function anymore. Iím way too tired. Itís far too much effort for too little reward. I canít do this anymore. I really feel like I want to admit myself into hospital for a month just so I donít have to deal with any of anything, which is ridiculous as I have hated being in hospital every time Iíve been inpatient.

Iíve just taken a tranquilliser. I found an old pot of PRN meds. Tempted to take more than one, but hopefully when this one kicks in Iíll be able to put off doing that.

I canít have any time off work as I wonít get paid and I have loads of debts I already need to pay off, plus I now have to pay full rent & council tax. Iíve either got to stay in work as I am, or quit altogether and claim.

Iím so so very tired
Here and Now Room / Re: Canít keep up with my moods
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 06:23:43 PM »
That's a long time to wait. Good luck calling up.
Here and Now Room / Re: Canít keep up with my moods
« Last post by terrified heart on Today at 05:12:02 PM »
Thanks Rob xx

I havenít got an appointment with my GP until Jan 12th to ask to be referred back. I can keep trying to get an Ďon the dayí appointment maybe. Iím not sure if Iím allowed to contact CMHT directly myself. I might try them on my lunch break tomorrow, perhaps ask to speak to my old social worker.

I really want to give up. Iím tired and this unhappiness is physically painful. I feel so alone. I know I have people in my life, but I feel a complete inability to reach out to them. I donít feel worthy of their time and I donít trust any one to not belittle me or turn their backs.

Yes, the winter solstice is certainly a nice thought.
Here and Now Room / Re: Canít keep up with my moods
« Last post by Rob on Today at 04:57:24 PM »
I'm sorry to read that you're not able to break these feelings - it can be hard, and when you're feeling that way, you won't see anything worthwhile about your life. That doesn't mean that there isn't, but you won't be able to see it and focus on it.

You know yourself, and if you believe that getting support from your CMHT is a sensible way forward, go for it. There's no sense in feeling this way when you've been able to feel so much better at other times. Work might be able to give you a break whilst you get back on your feet again so you can go back at a later time, and catching things at this point will make things easier for you all around.

Days start getting longer next week - as the supermarket advert says: every little helps  :hug2:
Here and Now Room / Re: Canít keep up with my moods
« Last post by terrified heart on Today at 04:37:38 PM »
I am so unhappy

Iím finding no enjoyment in being alive. Everything is just so confusing, disheartening, stressful, painful and annoying.

Iím seriously thinking of giving up work and going full time sick. Being well is exhausting. My head is still so broken, but Iíve learnt how to blag being functional. Itís so exhausting. Not a day has gone by lately when Iíve not thought of ending my life. I just see no point in living.

Primary care support refused to see me because of my diagnosis but Iím not getting support from CMHT either. I can see my GP, but sheís not had an appointment at a time I can make for weeks. As much as I donít want to be involved with CMHT I think Iím going to request to be referred back to them. Iím not able to get myself out of this negative mood, itís been going on for ages now. I think if I donít get some support itís going to end badly. I can see myself being hospitalised in the new year if I just explode with all this misery.
Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds.
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 04:10:37 PM »
I have been getting bad thoughts creep in. But my mood has been overall ok. I have had a difficult week as my routine has been messed up. I was sent home from work Sunday, my plans got cancelled Monday and I missed my Monday club due to snow, I had to wait in Wednesday for people to look at my kitchen. This morning I missed my groups seen pa early. So I have missed most of my groups this week.y routine is all over the place. I thinking of skipping the kayaking tonight as it's cold and there is still snow around. It's the last one before Christmas. A part of me wants to go but a part of me doesn't. Plus I don't have any money on me so would have to get some out. I debating going back to bed.
Here and Now Room / Re: Voices trig sui
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 01:38:28 PM »
Bless you. I hope that things get sorted out. It sounds complicated.
Here and Now Room / Re: Voices trig sui
« Last post by jokerlaw on Today at 09:22:20 AM »
I did and wasnít happy. Iíd been anxious all day and completely freaked out. My lead practitioner is going to talk to the psychiatrist again because what he had suggested I had already tried. He thought my pain meds were the things making me tired, but Iíve been on them for so lately by that itís not always the case and have tried to stop them but as my shoulder hasnít healed itís still painful. My GPnalso disagreed based on the time between each prescription, I clearly wasnít taking the full dose and this is also something new.

Hopefully will hear today. My lead practitioner had emailed him and was waiting to hear back. I donít think she realises how badly I freaked out when I got off the phone will her.
Here and Now Room / Re: Psychiatric care
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 08:59:17 AM »
You sound very isolated. Bless you. Good luck with your drs phone appointment later. Let us know how it goes. I am sorry you didn't make your meeting Monday.
Here and Now Room / Re: falling back into my old ways *sh, od*
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 08:14:53 AM »
I am sorry it didn't go the way you wanted it to go.
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