Erm, hey guys.
I'm a little ashamed to be here. Not because of its nature, but because I sort of feel like I'm taking the mick out of all of you. My head doctor has actually referred me to this forum, but reading all of your stories, I just feel like a wimp. My cuts are rarely even deep enough to leave scars, my cuts are not really in places that can do real damage. I know more than anyone that cutting is different for everyone, but I seriously don't want you guys to think I don't take this seriously.
In struggle every single day with dreams, fantasies and nonstop thoughts about cutting myself. I had been doing it for 9 years, stopped for 1 year and now i find myself back to it and I don't know why. I constantly think about it and crave it, and I don't know what to do. I did it again tonight, just 4 small cuts on my shoulder, deep enough to bleed, not deep enough to scar. Am I a "fake", I don't know who or what I am. All I know is that I always feel better as soon as the tool touches my skin. I need a friend if anyone out there is willing. I understand if you don't take me seriously. And I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.