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Survivor Room / Re: Post covid socialising (Grumble)
« Last post by Gerard on July 27, 2022, 09:22:59 PM »
Do you live near any parkruns? https://www.parkrun.org.uk

You can walk, run or volunteer or a combination of.

I've been going for 6 years. It's very social and people aren't glued to their phones and actually talk to each other. I highly recommend, it's a got a huge community feel, fun and welcoming. All body types and ages.
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Survivor Room / Post covid socialising (Grumble)
« Last post by Vermilion on July 25, 2022, 06:37:29 PM »
 :ranting11: :ranting11:

So, as everyone here knows, I've been in DBT for a while and part of this is to 'build a life worth living and for me this meant connecting with others more, I.e socialising. I'm trying,  I really am but there's nothing in my area due to this covid crap STILL messing things up! I've tried looking for fitness/sports classes, martial arts, volunteering and even arts and crafts which im utterly crap at! I've downloaded apps such as meetup and the like. There is jackshit in my area! I've emailed several places, I've tried their websites, some I've just walked in and asked (which is extremely difficult for me to do) and there is nothing even remotely social that doesn't involve alcohol. Loads  of places have closed due to covid and those that aren't are still offering only one on one training which I can do by myself anyway by running (when able) and cross training. The whole purpose is to make connections and friends, people who are share an interest with me so one on one training isn't going to help that. Why is covid such a big issue still, we don't even have to wear masks anymore (other than in hospitals) so there's no need for social distance like there was.  :banghead:

Also, I haven't had much chance to practice any of the interpersonal skills that I have learned/am currently learning because nothing is up and running around here still!  :hissyfit:
I'm going to ask my CC if she knows of anything, my DBT therapist is off and I don't know if I have another one or not (which I'm speaking to CC about on Friday) but this is b***** ridiculous! I admit that I'm restricted due to medical issues and lack of transport but there's nothing even within an hours walk that I'm able to do.
I don't think that there's any solution but I nonetheless needed to rant and maybe someone understands my frustration? I'm just trying to make some real life friends. :(
43
Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on July 14, 2022, 05:22:34 PM »
Any autistic people here doing an autism related PhD?
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Survivor Room / Re: why not? *TRIG SH*
« Last post by iris on June 17, 2022, 06:35:12 PM »
that makes a lot of sense, thankyou ^_^
having had quite a lot of health anxiety sometimes, i am quite careful to make things as safe as possible
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Natlovbi on June 17, 2022, 04:54:00 PM »
Hi
I'm ASD and have only known for a year. It was the best thing that has happened to me to be honest now that I know. I spent a very long time being stopped from stimming or being told that it was wrong and all mental health related. So now that I have more of an understanding I wouldn't even go for a cure if there was one available. I focus on my strengths and then work on ways are coping with my sensory issues and social understanding as I progress.
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Survivor Room / Re: why not? *TRIG SH*
« Last post by Natlovbi on June 17, 2022, 04:50:24 PM »
Hi
I understand what you mean in a way. It doesn't resolve things but for me it's helpful (odd way to put it I know). To be honest I wish I had never started over a decade ago. I go through phases and agree about the being safe, minimising risk, first aid supplies etc. For me it's about reducing the self harm at the moment rather than stopping but that will be the overall goal in the future.
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Survivor Room / Re: why not? *TRIG SH*
« Last post by Vermilion on June 17, 2022, 10:22:26 AM »
There are a few reasons for me but I think the biggest reason for me to stop was the risks of it, I may not have intended to end things but it could've happened due to either the extent of the injury or the resulting infections and there were longer term effects of the injuries such as itching, scarring and possible mobility issues depending on what and where the injury was. While it started off fairly minor and wasn't much of a problem it did escalate to the point where it became life threatening at times. A life revolving around A&E, b**n units, dressing changes and the like isn't a great life to be honest.

Another factor was that by self harming I wasn't dealing with the emotions properly  and it was doing little to help in the long term regardless of severity. As I got older I never learned to cope with various aspects of life such as work, relationships, bereavement etc and I just relied on self harm more and more which is likely why it escalated to the extend that it did.  I'm gradually gaining better function in these areas of life by learning to understand and deal with emotions effectively rather than just suppressing them through self harm.

I think that while it could appear as a positive or helpful thing it's usually a symptom of other issues or illnesses which will need to be addressed. It's not an easy process and will need professional intervention and when you start that process is, of course, up to you. I will say that if you are going to be self harming keep it safe; minimise the damage, keep it clean, keep first aid supplies, keep emergency money for late night hospital trips and get medical attention when you need it.
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Survivor Room / why not? *TRIG SH*
« Last post by iris on June 16, 2022, 09:54:20 PM »
not entirely sure this fits this board or indeed this community in general. obligatory apologising for existing out of the way -

i'm curious about people's reasons to avoid sh. for me sh is entirely positive, and that seems to be unusual enough that wanting to (eventually, when able) stop goes without saying. if anyone particularly feels like talking about their reasons i'd be really interested
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on June 05, 2022, 09:27:54 AM »
Black and white thinking causes so much interference. It's either A or B, decided in a nano second.
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Survivor Room / Re: How do you start talking about 'trauma'...?
« Last post by Vermilion on May 16, 2022, 01:00:30 PM »
It might be a good idea to do some work around dealing with emotions safely before going on depth about any trauma. When I first talked to my old CC about it I explained that I was worried about the consequences of going in depth without knowing how to cope because my SH was already 'severe' and 'high risk' and I was really worried about that. We agreed that it was best to do DBT first before moving on to trauma work,  definitely ask about a referral for it.

How you express things that happened is really up to you, including the pace at which you say it. I started off simply saying that 'horrible things' had happened that I need to deal with but that I was concerned about escalating SH (as I explained above). I know what you mean about not using certain words, I also don't like the word 'trauma' and there are a few other words that I won't say and My CC and DBT therapist are fine with it.

Before your next appointment have a think about what you'd like to happen here. Do you want to manage your emotions better before delving too deep? Do you want to have a safety plan in place first? Do you want to do DBT first? Then discuss it with here, a good MH practitioner should listen and help you work through things safely.
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