Help me remember Trigger:Graphic (I think)

[happyhappy]

I want to write down things to help me remember but I have nowhere to write them. I am too afraid to write it on paper in case my kids find it. I am too afraid to put it on a file on my computer for the same reason. Can I write them here? IfI can't I am sure they will be removed. Anyone feel free to add others or their own.

I CAN'T always hide the marks, no matter what I tell myself.
My kids ARE going to start asking questions if I don't get a grip of the cutting/b**ning.
I DO NOT know what I am doing with overdosing. This IS a life risk.
It is addictive. I have had a sense of this. Give up now while I can.
I have found a need to do more and more. I do NOT want my kids to find me unconscious...or worse. This IS a real possibility.
I do NOT want my kids to copy my behaviour.
I do NOT want outsiders to see.
The hospital experience is AWFUL. It doesn't help, it doesn't make it any better.
If I over use pills then I am going to be left for days without and I will feel CR@P
I AM trying to get better.I DO want to get better.
I CAN do this. I went for years without, I can do so again.

Happyhappy

[Lorien]

But you dont have to do anything on your own...

Can talk if you want to

[Lily Kym]

 

[happyhappy]

Thank you,

I am really struggling just now. I just want to do it and I forget all the important things. It is just me and the s/h. Then I do it.....and then I remember....then I have the inevitable guilt and shame......

I have done one week. I am on week no 2.