One year ago today, I attempted suicide, which resulted in me being in a coma. My relatives were told to fear the worse as should I have survived, it was expected that I would be brain damaged and possibly physically disabled. A year on, I am alive and well. So many things have changed in my life it is unreal, I am not the same person. I am not always happy with my life or where I'm at, but I have achieved a lot and I am relatively proud of where I am today.
However, the same day that I ended up in a coma, my uncle also went into ICU for something completely different, in a different country. We were in the same day and expected to be discharged roughly the same time (6 months later). He started to get better, but he passed away and didn't make it out of the hospital. I feel so guilty about this - I chose to take my life, he didn't, I survived, he didn't. I miss him a lot, we were close, and I worry that my family resent me for living, when he didn't. I wish I could visit his memorial or do something special to show I am thinking of him, but I don't know what as he lived in another country.
I just needed to voice this.
Edit to add trigger warning to title ~ Bea