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NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: lulu05 on November 16, 2011, 01:58:20 AM

Title: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: lulu05 on November 16, 2011, 01:58:20 AM
Hi, I'm new so I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong place... I was just wondering if there are any adults here? I started SI at 15, but now I'm 21 and have just recently started again. I'm finding that I kind of want to reach out for help, but even worse than the need to hide my SI that I've always had, is the embarrassment that really, I am way, way too old to be dealing with my problems in this way. I really hope that someone here is in a similar situation and can reassure me.
I'm also kind of concerned about if I end up in a sexual situation with someone... I mean, it would be impossible to hide then, right? I don't know what to do/think/say. I feel like I'm being so immature.
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Nightowl on November 16, 2011, 02:58:10 AM
You'll find people of all ages on here, I'm 38, sometimes I think I'm too old for this but there is no upper age limit on feeling distress and coping in these ways.

 :welcome:
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Ocean Waves on November 16, 2011, 02:58:24 AM
yes hun, there are other adults on here, lots of them infact. Including myself. I'm almost 29. You aren't alone. Self harm can affect anyone no matter what age they are x
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: split on November 16, 2011, 07:14:48 AM
I am 22, going on 5. Welcome :wave:
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Lily Kym on November 16, 2011, 08:10:22 AM
Welcome to the forum x
I'm 33

I hope you find the site helpful  :holdingflower:
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: BrownBear on November 16, 2011, 09:57:33 AM
20 here.

I dare say the number of "adults" here far outstrips the number of people in their early/mid teens.
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Hysteria on November 16, 2011, 07:40:22 PM

38 here , welcome
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Olivia on November 16, 2011, 08:17:40 PM
 :welcome: I'm 32 (and only started sh regularly when I was 25). Do you have any professional support?
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: brighteyes on November 16, 2011, 09:55:39 PM
23 married mother welcome :hug1: xx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: coco on November 16, 2011, 10:04:39 PM
37 going on 2 ;D

welcome hun :hug1:
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Tree on November 16, 2011, 11:02:17 PM
Welcome :)

You're not alone at all. I am 22.
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: lulu05 on November 17, 2011, 12:26:30 PM
:welcome: I'm 32 (and only started sh regularly when I was 25). Do you have any professional support?

Umm, I have my first ever therapy appointment in an hour and a half. So Much Terror. I have no idea what to say. I thought I'd not mention the self-harm for now, because I'm really, really uncomfortable with discussing it...
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Tree on November 17, 2011, 08:11:36 PM
How was the therapy appointment lulu?? I have been having psychotherapy for the past 6 months and although it's hard and I found it very difficult at first I am now building a trusting relationship with my therapist and I think it will be useful.

How was it for you?

Tree xxx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: mirrhi on November 17, 2011, 08:26:38 PM
34 and sending hugs  :hug1:
xx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: lulu05 on November 17, 2011, 08:57:40 PM
How was the therapy appointment lulu?? I have been having psychotherapy for the past 6 months and although it's hard and I found it very difficult at first I am now building a trusting relationship with my therapist and I think it will be useful.

How was it for you?

Tree xxx

I actually found it really uncomfortable and horrible, but maybe in a productive way. I answered all the questions as honestly as possible, which meant I had to discuss the self-harm. I think it will be useful, but there is so much shame tied up with it that I did feel guilty and ashamed and awful for ages after. Also, I think I went in expecting to be made uncomfortable for the greater good... But the therapist was more like "we don't have to discuss anything until you're ready, or even never if you want". Which in a way was good, but in a way, I feel like if I wait until I feel comfortable to talk about the issues I'm most uncomfortable with, they'll never be resolved. I can be such a coward, it's going to be really difficult to actually bring up my real issues. I can already feel myself deflecting by talking about academic stress (which is a problem, but probably not the major one)...

Sorry, this is probably a massive overshare from a stranger, but the cover of anonymity is so helpful!

Thanks everyone for the welcome, and the hugs. :)
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Tree on November 17, 2011, 09:11:51 PM
No worries, that's what this place is for. And you're right, anonymity is very helpful.

I could have written what you just wrote, I understand exactly what you're feeling. There are lots of things I haven't told my therapist and I never know if I will. I also talk about anything and everything to avoid the real problem. But very slowly and in baby steps I am becoming braver and talking more honestly to my therapist. It didn't happen overnight though and I'm still not anywhere near being honest all the time!

When are you next seeing your therapist?

Tree xxx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: lulu05 on November 18, 2011, 12:30:26 AM
No worries, that's what this place is for. And you're right, anonymity is very helpful.

I could have written what you just wrote, I understand exactly what you're feeling. There are lots of things I haven't told my therapist and I never know if I will. I also talk about anything and everything to avoid the real problem. But very slowly and in baby steps I am becoming braver and talking more honestly to my therapist. It didn't happen overnight though and I'm still not anywhere near being honest all the time!

When are you next seeing your therapist?

Tree xxx

Monday 28th, unless I feel like it becomes urgent. Although it was very strange to be chatting to a man, I've realised lately I'm much more comfortable around women... I'm not sure if I should see how it goes, or actually request a female therapist...
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Faded~Lady on November 18, 2011, 02:45:25 PM
31 year old teenager myself x
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: Tree on November 18, 2011, 06:03:09 PM
Maybe give it another session and see how you feel after that? I had a male counsellor once who was amazing. But equally if you'd prefer a female then they should be able to accommodate that.

How do you feel waiting until Monday 28th?

Tree xxx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: lulu05 on November 18, 2011, 07:28:46 PM
Maybe give it another session and see how you feel after that? I had a male counsellor once who was amazing. But equally if you'd prefer a female then they should be able to accommodate that.

How do you feel waiting until Monday 28th?

Tree xxx

I have just emailed asking for a woman... I'm just aware that my own hang-ups mean that I might end up putting on a particular persona in front of a man. I mean, I feel like from a young age, I've been told that I ought to do my best to impress men, and although I know that's a silly lesson to learn, and a huge issue in itself, I can't see myself letting myself go enough to discuss the things I'm most ashamed of with a man. Particularly since this one seemed to be close to my own age. It's silly because I'm not even straight, but I've always been taught that relationships with men are inherently sexualised...

I've self-harmed every night since I started up again, with the exception of tonight (so far. But I'm really trying not to.), so I don't mind waiting til Monday 28th, because I feel like no matter how close the next appointment is, I'll still self-harm before I go. Also, I kind of need to recover from the last one!

Lulu
Xx
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: findingmyway on November 18, 2011, 07:32:17 PM
 :1059: :1059: :1059:
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: willow on November 18, 2011, 07:46:23 PM
hello hun x welcome to the forum i hope you find it helpful and supportive x x
 
like all the replies suggest there are lots of mature and immature adults on here  :) i'm 30 (just - i think that was the first time i've written my new age humm it's going to need some getting use to! )..
 
i hope you also find your therapy useful. Well done for emailing them about seeing if you can see a woman instead that was brave of you x and i hope they can accomadate it x x
 
see you around x   
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: kc on November 18, 2011, 08:58:05 PM
I'm 27 hun and been sh since the age of 8. Even with the sh i am working with adults with ld. Just been promted. So it Doesn't matter if you sh as an adult it Doesn't have to hold you back. I'm Also a parent.
Title: Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
Post by: paul on November 18, 2011, 10:25:58 PM
 :welcome: lulu05

Hope you find this forum useful, everyone here is so supportive, feel free to post whatever you want. Whether it's your 1st post or 1000th post, no body is a stranger!!

Oh yeah also I'm a 37 Year old parent of two gorgeous children.