Sorry if this is scrambled. ..
I've has far too long off 'sick' but I'm not unwell. I'm unsure what to do. I didn't cope well last time I was on JSA, I put myself in hospital many times because I couldn't cope with the interviews and the expectations of the 'claimant commitment'. I also get bad social anxiety and I freak out using public transport and can't handle groups or talking to strangers.
I should be working because I've had too long off and I'm sure the doctor is fed up with giving me sick notes because I'm not ill or at least I'm well enough to work.
Basically I need some support to help me get back into work and I don't know where to go. No one really seems to give a sh** about mental health and I'm not sure who can help. I also have the problem of explaining what happened at my last job, I don't think that walking out due to a meltdown is going to go in my favour
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To access work/employment services I'd have to go on JSA which I can't cope with. Where/what else can I go/do? If I get enough PIP I'm going to use it to get some counselling but there's no guarantee because I'm struggling so much for money. Plus it can take forever to get a decision on PIP (if I get anything at all) and I can't sit around on my arse waiting. I've also got the issue of uniforms especially since I'm a current 'self harmer'. How would I explain that if I'm on JSA? Jobcentres don't give a sh**. I've made things so difficult for myself and I need to this sort out but I need some help to do so. Or do I wait indefinitely for the MH services who may or may not help? I struggle with exhaustion due to the night time panic attacks and I get sick and dizzy a lot due to anxiety. How do people cope with that at work?
What can I do? I feel frustrated, useless, stupid and stuck.