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Confused returner *possible trigger*

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SquareTwo:
I'm a returning member from many moons ago. I used to use a different name.

Whilst I can't claim to have been perfectly fine for the intervening years I've managed to get by without stereotypical self harm behaviour.

In recent months I have been struggling with an ethereal urge to self harm. It's like my entire body is aching for pain and today it was at its worst.

I haven't felt like this since my dissociation was at its worst in my late teens/early twenties and it's confusing me. Is it a relapse in my dissociativity (I still dissociate, quite a bit, but it's been presenting very differently in the past few years and this feels almost like the old way).

Basically, I am wondering if there are any other former self harmers still about who may be able to relate to the feeling so I might be able to deduce what I am currently experiencing.

Thanks in advance

Tucan:
Do you have support? I am around under the same name

SquareTwo:
I don't have anything. No friends or family. Nothing professional. Just me and the hamster. I've just experienced a major life shift, it's then that I find I experience bigger shifts in my dissociations presentation which is why I am concerned that that's what's going on. But it doesn't feel like a positive shift. Kind of hoping that I am over reacting and that someone else gets similar feelings.

BestDolly:
Hey
I’m back too - logged back in at the weekend after being away for nearly 10 years.
Massively craving SH my arms were  tingling all over this evening
I’m so distraught to have all this coming back;

I’m at the GP tomorrow, freaking out, want help, don’t want to ask for help,
Scared what’s going to happen if I don’t get some help.

How you  been since posting?

Tucan:
Welcome back both of you.

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