Author Topic: Does anyone ever feel like this?  (Read 3631 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Lorien

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 6575
Does anyone ever feel like this?
« on: September 29, 2012, 01:34:23 AM »
lyrics from Alkaline Trio - Take lots with Alcohol

l Lyrics
TAKE LOTS WITH ALCOHOL LYRICSAlkaline Trio
Review The Song (1) Send "Take Lots With Alcohol" Ringtone to your Cell


 
Hello what the hell am I doin' here
That's a really nice suit
This is a really comfortable chair
See I don't know if you can help me or not
Cause I don't feel sick
But the pains in my head have almost put me underground
I don't really care if I'm healthy or not
Just clean my head up doc
I'll give you anything you want
See I don't know why I don't fall in love
Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop
Then we'll cut it up and bury it and leave it
Underground
And I'll take to wishing and fall under
Sleeping safe and sound
Just give me medicine prescribe me anything
Just knock me out and walk me through the door
I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore
Hello what the hell are you doing here
You made a really strange face
This is a really uncomfortable air
I see I'm boring you, maybe I bore myself too
That's why I need help, I'm cleaning blood off dusty shelves
I been cut up in this room so many times it might take days
And those stress cracks in the wood
How nicely the soak up the stains.

i am so frustrated and pissed off with the Psychiatrist I see that it feels impossible to come back from. I guess the main thing is that i have been trying to explain to him that things have been getting worse recently and there are a lot of physical things that happen because of that which are quite hard to deal with and until the last time he seemed really oblivious. it felt like he decided to play around with my head for a few times and it is hard not to think that things that he did directly made things worse.

I know that he is good. I really appreciate that he is not the kind of Dr that says 'here take this now f*** off', it is obvious that he does give a s*** and i don't want him to suggest any kind of meds...i just get so frustrated that he doesnt seem to be doing anything at all...except making things worse unless it involves risk or not going to work.

he is awesome if i have a plan in my head that i cant get away from, he can make it ok to not do that and it not feel like failing but...nothing else seems to matter. He asked me to make a list of things that i find hard (after finally hearing what i was telling him for months)...but now i dont trust him to read it and take it seriously. just keep waiting for him to say it is all fine because there is no risk involved.

on top of that he has moved to a different building which makes it feel even harder to consider going.

but i dont want to stop seeing him, because he is a legend when it comes to very specific plans that I cant get out of my head, i know he wont make me do something i dont want to...and i like him.

just  :ranting: :ranting: :ranting: :ranting: :ranting:
“Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.”

“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”